Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Death Row in the backseat of my Car.

In prison, the death row prisoners are the easiest to handle. No one makes waves when that bad day could tilt the scale to schedule your execution.

I picked up fried chicken before  coming home today. I can place it in the passenger seat of the car and the pit bull and chihuahua mix sit in the back seat like the choir in the choir loft.

BoDuke who weighs 10 pounds has food aggression. He will fight every dog in the house to stand beside me when I eat. If a crumb falls, he will get it. Louise the pit bull is an incredibly gentle dog. She will allow BoDuke to make her sit several feet from me. I watched her for signs of aggression when I realized she was part pit bull. She is very gentle, then I learned she is pit.

I don't believe in breeding any dog but especially powerful dogs like Louise. I don't believe in leaving children alone with any dog or cat. I keep up with Louise. She loves it.

I'm sure if I was not present, the two dogs would have had a disastrous conversation about the chicken or Bo would have backed down to Louise. Anyway, it is amazing how polite a pair of dogs can be if chicken is on the line. I fed two pieces to my dogs. I call a name before putting a piece in their mouth. I make everyone follow the rule. Chicken is a terrible thing to waste.

Monday, April 29, 2013


Alex or Big A’s dreadlocks fall below his shoulders. With a new tattoo on his ass and the west coast rave clothes, he might be 42 but he is still cool.  He thought about putting a teardrop under his eye but the old man said he would cut him off from his funds if he got a tattoo on his face.

Just a regular trustafarian peacock at a prominent film festival, Big A goes to any party he wants. It is late in the evening, Thursday night, and the party is slow. Some crazy fools get up in the morning to watch films. Alex and his crew watch the end of the night movie and then PARTEH! All the players, hangers, climbers, backstabbers, lovers, haters, dancers, singers, you name it show what they got to one another.

In walks this redneck, the crowd is already subdued and the background noise drops another decibel. Sandy red hair cropped short, reddened skin, a beak of a nose untouched by a scalpel, his blue green eyes contract as if absorbing all that he sees. 

"Alright folks, what did you think?” the man says.

The hot chick to his left hops off the bar stools and sashays to the rube. Alex had his eye on her. He had turned and winked at her and got a little smile. When he finished scanning the crowd, he was going to talk to her.

The server walks past him to the rustic yokel.

A clean-cut black dude walks in with a woman who is probably his wife. She is wearing a corsage. Is this an alien invasion or 1956? You would think they could spend a little money on clothes.

“How did you get invited to this party?” Big A bellows as he swaggers up to the odd group.

“Make a good movie and if the sun is shining bright, a door will open for you boy.”

Sunday, April 28, 2013

beware = there is always someone who wants something for nothing

I have been vulnerable at times in my life. It is depressing the predators that exist and how mobile and alert they are. All that energy would allow them to compete with Donald Trump if they were legitimate.  It's a bit of irony that these folks usually squander what they get.

If I write a check on my mom's bank account, they examine the check carefully. I read in the paper about a couple had emptied about $100,000 from a senile man's bank accounts. The things they bought. Luxury items like expensive jet skis. They were middle-aged, dumpy and unkempt. I thought of the phrase you can dress a mule like a horse but it won't be a horse. Course a mule is a handsome animal in its own right. The couple looked more like a ratty old donkey pair.

My blog is not well read so I encounter blog spammers more like filmhill or vampirestats. They make you think they are visiting your blog and bringing people to view your blog. You  hit their link and they will sell you something. Filmhilll locks you on their page and you have to shut the browser down to get away. They are selling today's fish oil guaranteed to help you lose weight. Are they calling me fat?

Medic Alert called my house to set up their system in my home. They blatantly told me they were setting up a time to install the system that had been ordered. I think not. I would know if I had ordered it. They should have enough business without having to bambuzzle someone.

Oh well, I least I have my senses. I have a friend who is in her eighties. She and her husband hang up if they don't recognize the voice. This is my new policy.

Saturday, April 27, 2013

It's late Saturday night and we have had an eventful day, lots of little stuff and nothing extraordinary and a small catastrophe.

The goal was to get out of the house. We went to Happy Hour Workshop to donate a few things. As we walked in, we got fussed at by two women there for having dogs in the car with the windows up. It was 60 degrees out and 9 am. The sunlight was not direct, besides my sister was sitting in the car.

We had no business looking around. Our goal was to leave stuff there and not collect more things. Since the two women were going to call the police on us, we decided to leave. What would we do? Rat them out for having 10 dogs when the city limits you to three. This I know because the friendly one shared that tidbit with me.

Well my jailbird mother, sister, brother and I stopped at a few yard sales then swung through McDonalds for a chicken wrap.

I showed up late for the Macon writer's club.

Since I have retired, I feel like I belong nowhere. I had three dogs in the truck so I left it idling with the doors locked. Its hard to relax when you do that. Of course, I gave a few opinions that I should have kept to myself. Not that they were that strong, its just that - well, no one cared.

I came home, ate. I am dieting. I control my diabetes with diet. I have been pushing the limits lately and I need to get on the straight and narrow.  I laid down to watch a little television  my brother comes to tell me mom is on the floor.

She is OK. It's just she can't get up off the floor and she does not want me to hurt myself lifting her. I called 911. The fire department came and four skinny young guys had her up and in her chair in no time. The ambulance then came to make sure she was alright.

After we had calmed down. Daisy the dog was shaking through the whole situation. We were in a tough spot. I went outside and tilled the side flower bed. I was seeding the sunflower plants and the two black and white chihuahua mixes were eating them as fast as I could put them in the ground. I had to get them in the house.

So this was my day. Take care.

Friday, April 26, 2013

Trial 1

Trifecta challenge is to write a 33 word composition with a hypenated compound word. Sam Edge has written one hard to beat.
Sam Edge's entry.

This is trial 1.


Moving from under the bridge to a seedy interstate motel, the eye-catching woman had Black jeans, black t-shirt, large breasts stretched to her waist.  Black braid belt, shirt taut, bright orange hair gleaming.

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Whose to blame.


The traffic is heavy; cars speeding into small places to get in and out of traffic. A small stout man has an inexpensive push mower looking for a space to cross. He has a hump between his hips and back and has an awkward walk. He makes it across the first two lanes and waits in the left turn lane to cross the final two.  People so intent on getting to work, putting on make-up, drinking coffee, taking a quick look at their phones, adjusting the radio dial and he stumbles. Prayer for him is all I can think.

The lumbering walk was more difficult because of the extra weight he carried when he was in the lunch line of the school I worked. Mowing grass has trimmed him. The deep overbite and questioning eyes stay in my mind.

I have a developmentally delayed brother and a sister with schizophrenia. What I could dismiss is a reality to me.  

“Junebug” Sammie Davis shot and killed by Officer Sutton in Macon, GA. An innocuous situation that got out of hand. Essentially, Junebug spent his days at a Kroger eating chips and swilling soda. Having schizophrenia, he had bad days as well as good. There was mention he didn’t always take his medicine.  Isn’t a bad day possible for us all.

News of the shooting made me incredibly angry. The GBI cleared Officer Sutton. Officer Sutton had a cut on his neck made by Junebug’s fingernail. I would have fought for my life too.
The mental health system in this country is to blame. You have people drawing large salaries to manage an ill prepared and unfunded mental health care system. The people who actually work with the clients earn low salaries.

Junebug lived with a sister. Her entire paycheck would take the cost of a day program. I retired early to care for my mother and two handicapped siblings. I started writing as a release. At least I could retire. I run a precarious balance between taking care of these people and not worrying about money.  

People think I am getting a lot of money from the government. My mother gets about $500 a month in Social Security and my brother’s paycheck from a workshop he attends. I spend about 3 hours a day shuttling him back and forth and about $400 a month in gasoline for him to attend. I take him because it is good for him mentally and it keeps him in the system if something should happen to me.

A little better job is done with the developmentally disabled. I’m not keen about him living in a group home. So many lose their language skills and are very lonely. You have to make an effort to interact with them beyond the niceties of telling someone hello.

My sister was arrested in 2008 for being mentally ill. She was causing a problem but the problem was rooted in her mental illness being untreated. As the district attorney told me, the law does not treat the mentally ill well.

My sister gets disability from Social Security which started in 2009. After medicare insurance payments, it is about $520 a month. I give her $200 spending money. The rest is for her living expenses and medical needs. She has about $5000 in a thrift retirement fund with the government from her employment. It will take about $1000 in legal fees and much work to empty that account. She would qualify for Medicaid if that money was no longer there. With the current political climate in GA, I would be crazy to get her on Medicaid.

Before anyone wants to tell me how lucky I am to get that help; yes, it makes a big difference. She would need to be assisted living at the state’s dollar if I could not care for her. However, the current system would allow her to live under a bridge because that would be her choice. I pay over $10,000 a year in taxes and so does another brother of mine.

The 26 year old officer learned a huge lesson that night about the mentally ill. Expensive and exhaustive to deal with individuals like my sister, numerous traffic stops ended in inaction. That officer’s inexperience saved my sister’s life. She was dying. The human body can only take so much neglect.

The 29 year old Sutton also learned a huge lesson and Junebug paid the price. It wasn’t Officer Sutton that killed Junebug, it was a mental health care system that is broken that killed him. His sister is still angry and I understand. But the real problem is there needs to be a day program for individuals like her brother and my sister. Mental illness is a devastating illness for its sufferers and their caretakers.  

Sunday, April 21, 2013

To Megan in Pensacola

I heard you speak on NPR. You were born in this country and a muslim. You have had a brother killed serving in the United States military and another brother presently serving the United States in Afghanistan.

I think what struck a chord with me is that you could be my daughter. If you had been borne to me you would have grown up a white, Southern Baptist in Georgia. You would have had a different American ethnicity but one that also shares negative connotations.

Let me share a few thoughts.

1. When someone has the need to let you know your religion or coloring or opinion is suspect. Remember it is all about them. It is their ignorance, insecurity or perchance for bullying that you are witnessing.

Remember they could be ignorant but have the potential to change their mind. We all carry prejudice which we are lucky to lose as we learn.


2. You are not responsible for what other people people of your ethnic group have done. Southerners are heaped with the blame of racism and segregation of African Americans. Racism is wrong. Sometimes Southerners confuse this blame with the need to explain that all people have the capacity for good and bad.

There are bad people in every group of people. Think about the Oklahoma City bomber Timothy McVeigh. He had a wonderful father and great family. He choose his evil doing. His family would have done anything to prevent the bombing.

3. Listen to people relieve their hurts and insults. For you it will be about fears or sheer ignorance. Think about these people who accuse President Obama of being a Muslim. Now communist, cult leader would be an issue. But exactly what is wrong with being a Muslim.

African Americans have told me about ways they or their families had experienced racism. I learned that they weren't telling me because they wanted to make me feel guilty. They wanted to share their indignity in the very human sense of relieving the burden to a sympathetic ear.

Don't be defensive. It may be the next day, it may be ten years from now. That individual will process your actions.

4. Safety.  There are dangerous people who perpetrate meanness. If someone threatens you, file a police report. If someone looks like they could do you harm, avoid them.

It's the old adage about a wolf wearing sheep clothing. Sometimes that loud mouth with hurtful statements would defend you from physical harm and that person you thought seemed so nice could be dangerous.

The world is an unsafe place, don't leave your purse in a grocery cart and walk away, be careful who you give your social security number to, don't get in the car with strangers. This list is so long.

5. Teach your children well.

6. Don't apologize. 2.6 million muslims live in the United States. They are not responsible for what 1 or 2 or ten people do. I am not responsible for the actions of unstable or criminal white, anglo-saxon, evangelical people do. Recognize that there are going to be Muslims that do evil just like any other group of people.

7.  Have faith. Watch the movie "42" The world has always been an unstable, imperfect place. There is hope. Look at all the people who ran to help the victims of the Boston bombings. They had no guarantee more bombs would be there.



This is your country. It's not perfect but it is your country and you don't have to prove anything to anyone about your loyalty, etc. You are an American.

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

nothing happened


click to embiggen "She wasn't about to let anything get in her way." Sentence provided by speakeasy #104 winner Natalie 
The family had been gone on vacation for 16 days. They left after George got home from work on Friday and drove straight to the Atlanta airport. What was a cruise had expanded into driving as far as they could around Alaska.

George, Alice and the two kids trudged into the house at 10 PM the Sunday night of their return. Alice ordered George into the bed. He was going to work the next day and that man would keep working late into the night.  

It was July and the kids still had two more weeks before school began. Listening to their complaints about not being able to sleep late, Alice noticed a family of Purple Thrushes homesteading in the drying Boston Fern through the kitchen window. To think she thought of watering the plants last night.

The birds could hear her and would stop as if keeping their activity a secret.

“Sara, get the video camera. Walter help your sister.”

Walter sissed at his sister, “Thanks for saying I’m bored, now we got a family project”.

Sara brought the camera.

“Walter, we need the tripod.”

“You didn’t say we needed the tripod.”

“I told you mom wanted the tripod.”

Attaching the camera to the tripod on the counter, Alice focused the video camera on the nest as the children slipped into the other room.

“We pick Louise up from the kennel this morning.” Alice called after them.

“She wasn’t about to let anything get in her way of the family watching the young birds hatch and fledge. Alice cautioned Walter as they returned from the kennel, “Don’t let Louise use the front door. Bring her around back into the house.”

“Why?”

 She might disturb the filming.”

“Whatever” mouths Walter.

Sara rolls her suitcase of dirty clothes to the laundry room. Sara pauses to look at the camera and sees the bird flying into the plant.

“There’s a nest”. With a shrill, Sara heads for the front door.

“Don’t do that. We need to use the side and back doors for a few weeks. We don’t want to run off the new neighbors.” Alice chimed.

Louise pauses at the sink and immediately puts her big paws up on the counter. Cocking her head to the side, she lets out a good bark. Walter walks over combing his hair. Pieces of grass are on his clothes.  

When George got home, Walter escorts him seriously through the side door into the house to show him the bird’s nest.

After the first day of school, Alice looked at the half written essay by Walter as they organized his backpack.

“What I did over my summer vacation?”

Nothing. If these birds had not laid eggs
in one of my mom’s plants, nothing would have happened.

“Do you need this paper?”

“No, the teacher made me write another one. She said it was too short.”

Alice put the paper carefully aside to put in his Alaska scrapbook. One day, he would have a good laugh.




Sunday, April 14, 2013

Retirement ain't what it is cracked up to be.

The year my dad passed, 2000, he shared with me to "get use to stress it dogs us all." I felt sad that he was 77 and felt stress. What happened to the golden years?

I'll be 57 this May. I really don't have a lot to complain about. I get a retirement check, have insurance and owe less than my house could sell for. I have family, pets, purpose.

What I don't have is control over my life. Anyone reading this will say, Get in line. No one really has control. Not even the obstinate teenager being stubborn.

I care for family that I love. I long for a vacation from them.

I have a house that is a mess and I am disorganized by nature. It is going very slowly. I have someone who has helped me put up my fence.

I have an income. I had planned to work longer. When you are in your fifties, people don't want to hire you. I haven't tried very hard to be hired. I never had to work that hard to get a job. Plus, I was never stupid enough to casually quit a job. When they gave teacher contracts out each year, I stood and signed my contract then and there and turned it in. I didn't need the ten days to consider the issue. I needed the job.

Difficult neighbor. The fence should help. They want to shoot my dogs. This is the least of my concerns. I worry more about the neighbor "nutting up" with the gun he shoots when he knows I am outside. It is intimidating. I even realized he is not feeding his horses appropriately. They are losing weight. More than likely he is being a jerk to me and waiting for the grass to grow for his horses to have enough food. I keep the gas tank to the car full and carry my cell phone when I work outside.

In other words, I'm in a blue funk or have the black ass tonight. Well, it is the 14th, I have done our federal taxes. It's time to do the state taxes.

Saturday, April 13, 2013

Movie Review of "42".

Before I give the movie review, I want to start off with the fact that I am having blog envy. Not the shallow sort, the "thou art a beech woman" sort of envy. Nicole Abdou Thurston. blog is  Destination Unknown .


What is my problem? She has tens of thousands of visits every week. Moi, If I work at it, 800. Well yes, I am exaggerating. More like 600, maybe 200 if I just post. The fact that she writes about her life and folks are interested, and I write about my life and I fail to be interested.

So this is why the movie 42 is my topic du jour. Let me just say, it is a GREAT movie. I went to see Macon, GA and the locals I could catch in the background.

Todd Wilson who is a radio talk show host in Warner Robins was featured two times with quite a few lines. He has that beautiful voice that we all love to hear. I saw Neill Calabro because he wore a peanut vendor costume. It was brief but I recognized the hat. I plan to get the DVD and stop it in places and make sure what I saw was what.

More than anything, the movie was a great feel good movie with a potent story. We forget what outstanding courage Jack Robinson had in breaking the color barrier in baseball. It took so much willpower to stand up to the threats and intimidation. It's a lesson to us all in courage.

When movies are written, Joseph Campbells mythic journey of a hero is usually seen. It is clear Jackie Robinson's path in life followed this familiar pattern. Chadwick Boseman plays Robinson. True to Hollywood, he resembles Jackie Robinson but better looking. Harrison Ford plays the Brooklyn Dodger owner Branch Rickey who had the idea, courage and wisdom to integrate the white baseball league.

I'm your basic chick flick or Star Trek or fantasy or Snow White sort of film lover. I recorded a 1970's film on television which features a ghost who wears a bikini and another ghost who thwarts some bad guys. Heavy fluff is my preference in movies.

I got interested in the movie because Michelle Obama said it was a movie everyone should see. This piqued my curiosity because I have a great deal of respect for the first lady. Regardless of politics, the President and his family have truly been above the fray.

I live in the South. I have African American friends who are Republican. My ethnic group is usually Republican. I am an independent. I know my ethnic group, white, evangelical Christians are a great group of folks.

The President and the first lady are put down by some because of sheer racism. When I watched the movie, I thought President and First Lady Obama suffer some of these same things today which makes me feel ashamed.

I've even witnessed people who I know who know that being a racist is an affront to God, have racist attitudes toward the Obamas. Since my ethnic group recognizes that we all are sinners, I know that I have sins which I will have to face my maker over.

42 was not preachy about race. No white guilt was extolled. They showed something that I knew was true. A white working man approached Jackie Robinson and his wife. You were expecting a terrible comment. The man told him, " I just want you to know. I support what you do. You have a right." This is paraphrased.

I know this is true. I grew up in a home where my parents felt it was wrong how African Americans were treated. We weren't anything special, educated or grand. My dad was an aircraft mechanic and my parents lived in the same house from 1957 until 2003.

It was worth $7.50 admission, $10 after six and you are not a senior citizen.

Senior Citizen brings me back to my grievance with Nicole Thurston Abdou. Why is it you young chicks have interesting lives and us older gals are B-O-R-I-N-G, when we talk about our lives. Can't my dog and his picadillos be interesting.

I'm writing a screenplay with a senior citizen cast called "Me 2". In the meantime, have fun folks and watch the movie 42, it was great.

Monday, April 8, 2013

Based on a true story


Jennifer Marlow was slim and had beautiful brown eyes that twinkled when she smiled. She lived in the college dorm, went to classes.

Before she sat at a table in the dining hall, she would always ask if it was OK. One evening, she had made the dining hall at 5:30 PM and it was crowded. There was only one chair. Her counselor had told her not to ask, she had a right. She sat down.

A male voice says, "I told you, you can't sit here."

Anthony Jones says, "It's a free country, sit down."  Anthony was large, athletic, intelligent and good looking. His mom had always taught him to respect the power of his gifts. He always had a soft spot for someone excluded.

Jennifer starts a long tedious tale.  Sara Stevens and April Newcaster are compelled to listen by the alchemy of Anthony’s interest.

Sara and April walk back to the dorm after Jennifer. After some hesitating thoughts, Sara calls out to Jennifer as they enter the front door of the dorm. "We're all watching a singing contest on television tonight in the lobby." April gives a look of resignation at Sara.

For the first time in Jennifer's life, she has friends. She sits with the television crew any time she gets a chance. 

During a game show one morning, the host says, "Now they have meds for that." The audience laughs and so does Sara.

Jennifer stands up and hurries back to her room saying, "I almost forgot my nerve pill." 

Everyday Sara quizzed Jennifer about her nerve pill. Soon the entire television crew would debate the issue. Jennifer felt the pressure to stop taking drugs. It was a week before finals. She went cold turkey.

Jennifer missed finals. Her mom picked her up and took her to the hospital. It had taken seven weeks to get her medication right the last time. Two of Jennifer's professors would give her final to her late, one made no exceptions.


Author's note:  A similar event happened about thirty years at a college I worked at. This is my soapbox. I hope they put the research into mental illness so many beautiful minds of the future don't succumb to its devastation.

When you have a life threatening illness, you will take your medications.

All too often, people with mental illness do not take medications. Unfortunately, the medications do not the cure the illness and only alleviate symptoms. Because the average person does not understand that bipolar disorder, schizophrenia are diseases similar to diabetes and not a personal weaknesses. There is still a stigma.

The law does not treat mentally ill well. It's a disease that affects mental functioning and the best decisions are not made when we are not thinking clearly.

Mental illness is quality of life threatening.

If you have mental illness, don't be ashamed. Take your medications. If you are having a problem, get help with a family member or friend. There is a shortage of mental health professionals and even some of them will not listen to your complaint.

My sister came off her medication with a psychiatrist help. They prescribed a new medication that she had problems with. The psychiatrist did not listen to these problems. She did try to get help but everywhere she went she got huge stacks of paperwork which she couldn't handle.

We all need an advocate to help. My sister wanted to take care of herself and not be dependent. She also has schizophrenia which sometimes makes the sufferer to feel they are OK and it is the world that has a problem.

She spent two years off medication. Lost her job. It took about a year for me get guardianship and get her medically treated. She smelt like death when she came to my home. She has regained most mental function with treatment these past 5 years but has not gotten close to where she was at. I hope and pray for more research so many more minds like her will be lost to a cruel disease.

People do not understand it is a disease which can be treated. When the story above occurred, I had never encountered mental illness and it was just talk about the idleness of students.

Today, I speak up. Mental illness is a life threatening illness. People cannot function in society because of it. Alzheimers is being studied because of its financial impact. Live with mental illness and you understand it is similar to Alzheimers in the dysfunction.

People did not use medication like we did 100 years ago. Life expectancy in the United States was 44 years 100 years ago. People can over medicate. However, don't forgo modern medicine because of an opinion. Base your choice on fact and clear reasoning. If you suffer from mental illness, I pray you have a concerned friend or family member who can give you an honest assessment.

Do not give medical opinions if you are not a trained. You would never ask someone having cardiac arrest to pull themselves up by the bootstraps. You would call an ambulance. The same is true for someone experiencing psychosis.

A Late Delivery


While we were eating breakfast the letter was delivered. Missy barked.

My sister Gail had already opened the door and signed for the letter as I approached.

I hear him say, Thank you Mrs. Gilliam. Dang her hearing is bad.  

In slow motion she tears the thread to open the large envelope. "I was letting Missy out and I was face to face with the delivery man."

I wish she would wear her hearing aid. Well might as well see the contents.

"Wonder who would be sending us pictures Linda?"

She drops the bottom section of pictures as she shifts her hand to her cane. I'm older than Gail, but, I am not as broke down. I pick them up. Now we have a little dirt from the floor on one.

I look at Gail. Gail looks at me. Amazing, stuffy Mr. Gilliam,the pictures are obscene.

"I'm going to call the law. Send me trash like this. Who does that old codger think he is?"

I motion for Gail to come back to the table. I take the envelop and pictures and watch her get seated. I tap her hearing aid case. 

 "I mean damn, I have no interest in him or his naked butt." Gail says way too loud as she puts her right hearing aid in. The giggles slowly start like a reluctant lawn mower engine slowly roaring to life. Little Missy places her tiny paws on Gail's thigh.

"I didn't know they made crotchless pink panties with little boy legs ---- in size big ass."

Tears were streaming from my eyes. Gail was doubled over the table with one picture sticking up, Russell Gilliam, Esquire in a provocative pose with a sexy, silky matching bustier. He obviously shaved his legs. I remember being able to wear pumps like those. They did not look worth a hoot with the pink stockings attached to the pink garters. And who was that woman, it wasn’t Sherry Gilliam.

“I wonder why he sent these pictures.”

He didn’t. I heard the man call you Mrs. Gilliam.

Gail looks pensive at the stack. “Close enough to William don’t you think?”

“That’s right. Your fondness for rhymes has finally come in handy.”

“You certainly looked like you were having fun at the poetry slam.”

“It was nice rubbing up to all those male bodies even if they were gay.”

“Hey Sammy is not gay and he goes all the way.”

We both sit quietly drinking our coffee.as a squirrel works on the squirrel proof birdfeeder.

“Heh, heh Gail, remember Faye Dunbar”.

Is she still alive?

“Yeah, why don’t we give her these pictures?”

“Why would we do that? I say we burn them.”

“Remember Russell Gilliam saying ‘Faye goes all the way’ as a joke.”

Linda, that was over 50 years ago.

Let’s take the lock off old secrets and shame with these photos. Besides, it is our address on the envelop.

Sunday, April 7, 2013

Fantasy and Reality


There is a line between fantasy and reality.     
Picture off the coast of Maui, Hawaii

In my mind, I am still slim, beautiful and 18. Pushing the lawnmower, I am clearly in my fifties without the strength and endurance I had at one time.

Perception

What we accomplish has much to do with our self-confidence or awareness. 

I knew a woman who was literally reeling from a terrible marriage with an abusive husband. She signed away all rights to a part of a military pension because she was so afraid of him. She had a clerical job and three children and they were really entering a great place in life without the former husband and father.

What stuck with me was her statement that she would have liked to have been a teacher but she never felt good enough. I thought, “what”? It was a job like secretary, nurse, realtor, etc.  I always saw my job like a craftsman. 

Fantasy and reality. 

Life is hard. All of us have struggles that seem too much at times. Some of it for me is menopausal. Most of it is me. When I have a hard day, I am incredibly negative, mad, doubtful, anxious, you name it.

The one thing I don't do is hide in fantasy, I think. 

I no longer put on airs. People usually know who and what you are and dislike the phoniness more.

I don’t hide my defects as much. I do have to admit I do try to get out of my automobile and walk without showing how stiff I am.

Someone may really bother me but I don’t react and I am careful to not say much to people I may have problems with.

I do enjoy a good fantasy story or comedy. The closest I have come to the recent zombie invasion in media is watching the Big Bang Theory and hearing references. 

I have not watched Twilight or read the books. I don't think the franchise is hurting due to my lack of participation. My sister loved the books and movies. Having sex with the undead isn't appealing to me.

I do like the escape of a fantasy movie. I loved the movie, "It's Complicated", with Meryl Strept which was a female fantasy film in which the ex-husband longed to be with her, she had a dream kitchen built, the has a unreal golden garden, she met prince charming, her ex-husband's trophy wife had reason to be envious of her.

Other than that, I try to keep fantasy out of my day to day thinking.  

There is a non-denominational Christian church that combines conservation Christian dogma and the love of  horses and the "cowboy" way. The "snake handlers" start looking a little more mainstream. The church is probably fine. It's just my view of Christianity doesn't limit the congregation to a specific passion or hobby. I don't think it is a healthy to limit the pool of people and opinions you can encounter.

Being a native Southern, I understand mythology. There is so much baloney parading as fact about the South. Someone describes an eccentric relative and boom it is true about us all. Desperate for attention, some folks agree. Sort of like Jersey Shore representing Italians. 

I wonder what this cowboy way is? I do know it is a way to cope with the world. We all wake up at times wishing not to face the problems we have. I'm dealing with a bully now and I know that the bullying has more to do with them than me. It doesn't make it any easier.

It also makes me think of people who dress and party at Dragon-Con. I know a science teacher with a wife and children who don many costumes for this affair. How does this fantasy affect their reality?

I've heard my brother quote Star Trek and I agreed with the altruism. 

Share your thoughts with me. How much fantasy enters our lives.

Friday, April 5, 2013

Best advice

Trifecta Writing Challenge is 33 words of the best advice you were ever given. For the challenge I chose one dealing with our relationships with one another. As John Donne said, "No man is an island."


Take the highroad in life.  
No apology to someone you detest. 
No regrets for negative actions directed at someone who did not deserve it.  
No memory problem, the truth is always the same.