Saturday, February 27, 2016

Heck with losing my mind, where is my filter.

Fried chicken livers are on sale at Harvey's and my mother knows it. I will be slipping in around 11 am to buy up 2 lbs. I can tell you what the faces of the workers will be. It will be a definite "Oh Shoot".  I try to keep the language clean on this blog. They hate fried chicken liver week. Whenever I get them, there are people lined up to buy them behind me.

Whatsup with me today. I'm doing a little Feng Shui. Mopping a few floors, reading my magazines and writing my blog. Nah, I'm watching Dr.Phil.

I've learned something big about my mother. As you get older, that harden filter disappears. There is an outdoor area in front of a popular chain breakfast restaurant. Mostly seniors are in the establishment. Outside the store there are a few chairs with a patio table where some older men and sometimes a woman smoked, drank coffee, etc. Well there is a sign now, no cigarettes, gambling or rides. It was empty.

The men who congregated were very normal looking men who probably just liked to talk a lot. It's a military town. They were probably all Vietnam veterans. I would be interested in hearing what they think of Trump. Either they will think he is the second coming or some other candidate suits their fancy or more likely they will agree about the corrupt nature of politics. None of them will favor Clinton or Sanders. Some of them might privately vote for Clinton or Sanders. I guess something unsavory happened there and they have had to make rules. It is a business not a gathering spot.

As we left the parking lot, we saw some homeless people. One was a female who probably was a hooker. She looked dirty and was with an equally dirty man. They were sitting on the curb smoking with their grocery cart of possessions. Two other men who looked like stray cats were walking back and forth to the main road. They may have been working gents.

One time when we came out of the restaurant, there was one guy walking up and down the side walk. You can see hunger. After we loaded up in the car, I gave him $7 and a coupon and told him to get something to eat. He went straight in. Whether he ate or not, I don't know. We left.

Why would I think these folks might be looking for "dates". I watch too much crime TV plus I went to a session by a young woman who worked as a prostitute decoy for a police department. She dressed as a pretty woman; but she showed slides of what they actually look like.

I picked up skills of noticing things out of place as a teacher. I know my radar doesn't work as well as it used to; but, I do notice things out of the ordinary as I drive down a road. This stretch of road I traveled every morning and mid-afternoon twice.

There are two low budget hotels in the area. Plus open wooded areas. I stopped at a store next to one of the areas. I don't always lock my car and sometimes I leave the windows down a bit and park in the shade. I have my bully dog with me most days. I left the engine idling with the AC on and locked the doors with a spare key.

When I came out, two women with bedrolls were geegawing at my bully. I stood at a distance for a moment and looked. They looked at me and went on their way. They may have been harmless. They may have took my bully. People use them to fight. The bully is more of a biscuit eater than a fighter. If someone broke in my house, it would be my over sized chihuahua that would take a bite out of crime.

The car may have been an object desire.

The dog was the only thing of value inside the car.

They may have just been admiring the friendly dog. Your heart hardens through life. I still feel some humility that I never have had to sleep in the woods out of necessity.

Back to the homeless people, my sister pointed them out. My mother is saying where. So she can get a gander, I deliberately turn left toward some gated apartments and turn back in their roundabout. My mother sees them going and coming. Stopped at the stop sign waiting on traffic she says, "I don't think we should be helping those people."

I tell my mom, we were just looking. I don't think they even noticed us. After I turn left going on the main highway, my mom has teared up.  She suggests we call the police and get that woman some help. I tell her the obvious, the woman was looking at her smart phone and laughing. She is probably OK in her world. Besides what help when I thought to myself.

So we will never take time to notice that again. It took awhile for mom to think of other things. My mother's mind is good. Her hearing is poor. But that filter we all build is as thin as a teenager's. I admire my mother's ability to love and care for people. It is one of things my callused heart questions about myself.


13 comments:

  1. When my father in law was still alive, he and a group of buddies would meet daily at McDonald's down the street from where they all lived. Would spend a good hour or two drinking coffee, occasionally eating, and talking about this or that. Now whenever we see such a "kletch" of older men we remember hubby's dad and their group. It too would be interesting what they think of the candidates available for president; they didn't think much of the one holding the office now.

    I think sometimes as we age, we use our filter for keeping things to ourselves that we shouldn't say out loud. I noticed that a lot as my in laws aged and some with my mom.

    Good for your mom for her heart with the homeless, even the ones that might have the possessions we wonder that they have. Living where I'm at currently, not a lot of homeless here, but moving back to the "big city" in a month or so where there is an abundance. My heart goes out to them, but I realize you can't save them all and one has to direct their help for them to organizations and services that are equipped to try to meet their needs.

    betty

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  2. I know what you mean about wanting to know their opinions. They can be much more tempered than you expect. With mom and that girl, I was really touched. At the same time, I know why older people can be victimized so easily. I'm sympathetic with the homeless. But I do recognize if it is due to drug use by choice they have to be willing to make a change to help them. The mentally ill, we do a piss poor job of assisting them. They do need help with choices.

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  3. True, the more one experiences the more one jumps to the hardened conclusions.

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    1. Compound that with working at an alternative school. I do feel sympathy for anyone not having the basic necessities. It is just that I know some would not take care of what you give them.

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  4. I don't know what the answer is but we need to take care of our homeless. Some areas are doing better than others. It's difficult, I think, to figure out if someone is truly homeless and in need or panhandling.

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    1. So true. I think it is like gun control. They need to study to problem for solutions instead of relying on folks to just think up an answer.

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  5. So many homeless are suffering from mental illness. I think it is one of the great shames of our nation that we don't help them. I would think living in a city where homeless are always about that a person stops seeing them.

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    1. This is so true. The law really treats the mentally ill so poorly. If my mom had dementia, they would jail me for neglecting her. My sister with mental illness, I had to legally get guardianship which cost about $1200 in this rural county. So many people don't have the resources and lets be honest, the mental endurance to take care of a family member.

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  6. There definitely needs to be more options and help for the homeless and mentally ill. But we also have to work against those who take advantage of and help increase some of these issues including drug dealers and loan sharks.

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    1. The sad part are the predators that attack any help. There are so many honest people in low income areas. It is just that they have so little clout, the predators are present.

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  7. Hi Ann, I wonder where the guys are hanging out now. It's not like they were hurting a darn thing.

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    1. They are probably sleeping in the woods.

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  8. No matter where we live, we need to have more options and opportunities for the homeless and mentally ill of our community. It's so sad that we don't/can't take care of each other better than we do.

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