I've been to the bridge


I’ve been to the bridge where the water overflowed.
The road with swirling eddies and an ice cold grip
Steadying my step the river carried my load.

The water was calm and steady in the road
It would not stop my trip
I’ve been to the bridge where the water overflowed.

The large fallen tree in the river’s lift slowed
To bobble at the bridge’s lip
Steadying my step the river carried my load.

Heart and desire would goad
A passion as strong as any kinship;
I’ve been to the bridge where the water overflowed.

I stood, waited, gathered my hopes
Bowed to a current so mighty my dreams would slip
Steadying my step the river carried my load.

Returning without a rainbow
Those memories will never fade
I’ve been to the bridge where the water overflowed.

The road with swirling eddies and an ice cold grip

I decided to participate in a poetry blogroll. I've been working on this poem for awhile. I'm not quite pleased with it yet. But this is my progress.

Comments

  1. A grand verse indeed. That water can sure over flow and wash our bridge out many a time in life.

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    1. Thanks Pat. I certainly hope you keep your bridges of life intact.

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  2. The repetition helps to keep that water moving.

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    1. Just playing with the form makes you know why a villanelle has been a success.

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  3. I like it so far. I like the imagery that is portrayed here.

    betty

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  4. You have a deft hand at rhyming.. I like your use of form very much.

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    1. I write a line or two I like. Then I list every word I can think of that rhymes. Sometimes, I change the original line. The words that rhyme are so lame.

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  5. With all the flooding going on it can touch on that thought. I liked it.

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    1. High water at my mail box let me know about the icy grip. I took my shoes off so the water would not pull me down.
      Thanks Mr. Mountain Man.

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  6. Is this some poetic form? :-) It seems quite familiar for some reason. Very evocative wordplay, as Katie mentions too. I enjoyed the read.

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    1. It is modeled after Dylan's poem "Don't go gentle into the night". I imitate poems I like. So I have written a few villanelles.

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  7. Oh yes, what a great Villanelle, you should be pleased, the way you subtly hide the form by using irregular number of syllables make it especially pleasing...

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    1. I'm just glad to find your blog, Bjorn. I especially like the title, "Imaginary Garden with Real Frogs". Real Frogs make a garden.
      I've a lot to learn about poetic forms. I am not the master you are. It is dumb luck with the irregular number of syllables. Some of it is written in my dialect and has that tilt to it.

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    1. You are so kind. Now if I can get my big head through the doorway. Thanks Alex.

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  9. Nice, fresh, and action. Keeping the action going helped with the river's current, I was concerned about the river carrying a load, the writer's. I could sense the disappointment of returning without the prize, but then the thought of being there won out as a consolation.
    ..

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    1. I was a wee disappointed with the melancholy. But, I thought there is more truth to disappointment than success. You tend to forget all the good.

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  10. I like the way you've used repetition here to convey the flowing of the rver.

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    1. For some reason, I have a fixation on the flow of a river. I've got another poem using a river's flow.

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  11. Powerful use of metaphor and rhyme to carry the reader along, in aquean stanzas, on a journey that works and wraps up three ways -- the life, the dream and the music of passage. Really nice.

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  12. Villanelles are not easy though you make this look simple. This has a very good rhythm and rhyme

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    1. For some reasons forms help me get my ideas together. Thank you, I have a journey ahead to write better poetry. I will say, each of the poet's blogs I visit lead me to more and more to explore.

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  13. "to bobble at the bridge's lip" - I love it! The picture goes perfect with the poem, is it yours as well?

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    1. Walking dogs with a digital camera, I took off my shoes after one came off by accident several years ago. Thank you Diedre.

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  14. Great words and thoughts, which is what makes a great poem. It's been a while since I've worked on my poetry, I really need to get back to it.
    I'm just waiting for the inspiration to hit.

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    1. Thank you Jeffrey. It's a lot of work to get a poem together. Sometimes, I sit and decide to write whatever, perhaps garbage. Sometimes that garbage leads to something worth posting.

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  15. I love this, my friend. I have been working on my poetry, too. It, like myself, is a work in progress...always.
    Thanks for sharing.

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    1. Good thought, we are all works in progress. Thanks.

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  16. With your repetition we can feel, see the water carry us along with you. I always feel I am a poet in progress.

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    1. Thank you Susie. I did not know how much repetition worked until I wrote this piece.

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  17. i witnessed in my childhood when water overflowed from our village bridge but it stayed though got weak and was broken later to built a new one but still it stays in my mind like undefeated spirit that did not let the water vanish it away .
    your wrote a very beautiful poem with strong expression .
    loved it dear

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    1. Thank you Baili. I have always had a fascination with water and how high the river or creek was. This is a wet climate, so we do have bridges wash out on a regular basis to be repaired later.

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  18. You paint sensual images with your words, I can feel the cold --- and the lines have a musical flow. Lovely and chilling at the same time. Thanks for sharing.

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    1. I'm a Southerner, perhaps the musical quality of my dialect comes through. Thank you so much for your kind words.

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  19. I love the images of the wild waters.

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  20. You mentioned you're not pleased with this one yet. I respectfully disagree. I think it's complete. Beautiful images laid out with lyrical words.

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    1. Hard to know when you are done. Thank you for your kind words.

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  21. I like this. With all the flooding in our part of the country, it wasn't difficult to call an image to mind.

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