The Art of Idleness

The new room looks great. Like most things, there are disappointments. But they are relatively small. I didn't think about getting a few extra electrical outlets. There are three in total. I'm getting the roof replaced next. Inside the house, I am having to push my sister to stay up and exercise. I haven't had a stroke and hope I never do.  She has walked with a good physical therapist by her side. The regular one will be back next week.

Meanwhile I miss my pastime and truly serious hobby which is being lazy. I like to sit in my recliner, surf the net, comment on blogs, read books. Perhaps leave late in the evening and meet up with my friends at a health club I belong to. We get in the pool and slowly walk back and forth and talk. We talk a lot of nothing. Politics are off limits which improves the conversation.
Cotton harvest stored in Pecan orchard

The occupational therapist that visits my sister is great. He has mentioned an inpatient program that my sister could participate in. My sister's mind is good. It is just that in the beginning, she was disoriented. Now, she would like to lay in bed all day. I'm hoping to get her in that program.

She will get disability from her federal job eventually and can live free in my house. She could pay for caregivers to give me some relief. I would rather her use those funds to take a cruise, travel, go to a spa and enjoy life a little. The ability is there to walk again. I know to not push too hard.

I am insisting she sit up in her wheelchair most of the day. Right now, I have told her after her fitted sheet gets dry in the dryer, she can lay down. I taped Saturday Night Live and we are playing that. You all know what I am doing. I'm keeping her up another 30 minutes. She can take a nap. But at 5 PM, she is back in the wheelchair. At the moment she is pushing her chair to the bedroom which is progress to independence.

All I can think is folks take care of your health. As much as the grind of taking care of my sister has become for the entire family, my sister has it rough. I bought fried chicken from a popular chicken take out place. It was great. My sister enjoyed hers. She had a terrible stomach problem because of it. Eating hospital food for two months has made her system sensitive.

What troubles me the most is her quietness.  I no longer talk for her with the nurse or therapists.

Christmas seems to hurtle quickly each year. Some folks relish the holiday. I worked at Rich's Department Store. One gal had Christmas eve off. She and her mother were in the store just before closing on Christmas eve. They weren't shopping. They just loved the hustle and bustle of the frenzied shopping.

Not having children and a small family, Christmas has been a quiet day for me over the years. I've been lucky in that I don't have depression over the holidays which afflicts many people. My dad passed away on December 18, 2000. Even though that date should paralyze me, it doesn't. I miss my father. My big regret is that I did not move home while he was alive. I did make a point to spend a day with him and my mother the last year of his life.

One thing I do know, is our lives are like the wind. You don't really notice the wind. But it happens quickly, quietly. My Christmas wish for everyone is take care of yourself. Don't criticize yourself. Make the best of all your days. They are your greatest gift. Even the time you squander reading all the Clickfarm news you knew better than click.


Comments

  1. I am constantly reminded how true the words of the Bible are. We are just a speck of dust in terms of eternity, even if we live for many a year. So true to take care of our heath. I'm guilty of not doing so but thankful so far hubby and me have enjoyed good health. Maybe your sister is grieving in her own way the loss of what she once was able to do. Maybe in time she will be able to do what she can and accomplish the goals that others think she can do.

    So sorry its been 16 years since the passing of your dad. Like I mentioned on other blogs, it would be nice if December could be spared from people's (and pets') passings, but that's (sadly) not the way life goes.

    betty

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Since she has walked some, she has become more active. Keeping her in wheelchair is bringing her back. I think my sister is grieving. The Physical Therapist keeps using the analogy that she is training for the Olympics which the work involved to get back to normal is that sort of effort.

      Delete
  2. Just keep a gentle pressure on her back without shoving too hard.
    My wife and I don't have kids either so ours is usually a quiet Christmas. We've done it for so long though that getting together with family is like mass confusion.
    I do take care of myself. I want to live a long and healthy life.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Good advice Alex. Have a good Christmas. I have the same philosophy of taking care of myself.

      Delete
  3. I sure take care of myself now. I've told many people to shove it, actually worse language lol, when they try to get me to eat crap or other non healthy stuff.

    Christmas is low key here too, me and two cats don't require much. Hopefully your nudging her along helps her get her independence back indeed.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Misery loves company, eh. I remember when I was young and thought my body was pretty indestructible. I had pretty good eating habits and enjoyed sports. The athletic activity has helped me the most. One of the problems is people do not believe it can affect their quality of life later in life.

      Delete
  4. Thoughtful coaxing such as favorite TV shows, companionship or food, often has positive results. Your sister's willingness, as you so expertly inspire, will have a tremendous impact on her recovery ;-)
    It's good to hear that you treat yourself to late evening get togethers! May a gentle wind caress the face that many have come to depend on.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Diedre. It's a bit overwhelming now. But it will get easier. I hope. I hope my sister gets better.

      Delete
  5. I am a caretaker of my husband. He is not incapacitated, but he declines to do a lot of things, he could, for himself. So I watch the diet, prime the dialysis, cajole him out of his recliner, keep his medicines, ordered, picked up, etc. I do get tired of doing it all without feeling resentful. I am going to CA at the end of Jan, for a week, with his agreement. I plan to leave him with things in order, but he will have to do the day to day things, himself. He says he can do it and encourages me to go ahead. If it is successful, he is going to have to pick up some of his own care. I am not heartless, I just need him to work towards being around longer.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I understand your situation. I've never faced the demands of taking care of someone so much. I'm glad you are going to get away. Surprising to me is that I always wanted a break from the others and now it would be so nice for us to be able to hang out with each other without all these duties.
      I think the first time my sister gets in the car and gets out of the house; she will have a lot more motivation.

      Delete
  6. I appreciated this post - your thoughts bring perspective to the holidays and how each person has their own story and handles it differently. i wish we could all slow down and give the gift of time to those who need attention most. thank you.

    and thank you for reading my Cradle Rock guest spot at Alex's blog!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Tara for your kind comment. Your books look like such fun to read. Tara Tyler's book "Broken Branch Falls"

      Delete
  7. Things are going to brighten for you.I started a warm water workout yesterday, staying at the Y for over 3 hours.I had the program made special for me by a trainer whose specialty is water exercise.I added this to my regular workout and felt good after all.After a steam room, sauna and whirlpool I left refreshed. It was so cold yesterday it was a relief to be inside.Happy Holidays!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know you enjoyed that. I joke I would like to do water aerobics in a hot tub.

      Things are looking up already. I've been squeezing out a little time early in the morning to write, etc. I like to be busy so it is not all bad.

      Delete
  8. I feel for your family. My mother had a serious stroke four years ago and is now in long term care. I hope you get your quiet holiday and wish you and yours the best.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I've heard of strokes my entire life. Being touched by one is a shocking education. I'm sorry to hear about your mother having had a stroke. I had read where you had visited your mom. I'm hoping to get enough and perhaps more of my sister back so that she can avoid long term care.

      Delete
  9. May Christmas be joyful for you, one way or another. Thanks for the reminder to take care of ourselves while we still can.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Merry Christmas to you Diane. Thank you for visiting my blog.

      Delete
  10. hope your sister breaks her silence and share her heart with you openly .
    i share your sorrow for not being with your father in his last time so do i as i live in a city far from my native village and could not see my father in his last time of saying goodbye though i spent few weeks with him before his death but still it is really hard to bear hard to forget and hard to get rid from the pain i feel .

    you too take great care stay positive because all good and bad is related to life and life is great blessing and very short plus unpredictable so don't waste your breaths in gloom and regrets .try to cheer up with positive attitude and celebrate Christmas with gratitude and happiness .

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Your thoughts.

Popular Posts