Sunday, January 1, 2017

That little voice deep down inside, might be a troll.

My New Year's Resolution is to cultivate my inner troll into a graceful, mellifluous assault of the senses on those so inclined. In short, if I can't say something nice, I won't say anything at all.

I thought it would take me awhile to channel my inner snark. But hey it was there quivering for release. I read a blogpost of a fairly well read, well sold writer. Since insulting people is not the best way to get on their good side, below I have completely re-written their blog post. The gist is still the same.

With the ups and downs in life, great tragedies and good times too. Happy New Years.

My inner snark wishes to reply, "No wonder you're a children's writer, you write blog posts like the average intellectual 6th grader writes book reports. The average 6th grader would write. " Mom pics bad buks a horse croaks."

I know a few children writers who read my blog, and it is not you. However, feel free to write as corny a book report as you can in the comments. It's always nice to know the complexities of life can be summed in a short sentence.

My gosh, political commentators give answers to complex problems in 30 second sound bites. We got a President who can do that now. The only problem will happen if Congress listens to him which probably won't happen. My way or the highway philosophy sounds more like leadership to their constituents.

Thus my favorite poem named Fleas.

Fleas

Adam
Had em.

Author unknown, I wonder why. I might claim the little ditty and charge folks a pence to use it.

My favorite yearbook comment one year was, "May all your ups and downs be in bed." The eighth grade male was incredulous that some girl's parents were offended. It sounded so snappy.

I love to read the comments to news articles. It's amazing how the politically minded can relate anything to the side they abhor.

Man's 20 foot python saves Family from Intruder.

Possible comments:

    " Oh no, the libtards may take away our snakes."
    " Rush Limbaugh ate his neighbor's snake. That's why his tongue is so forked."

In our local paper, it degenerates to "whose a thug". We have a tag team of about five people with fake Facebook pages. They are white and if the person is remotely black, you have a thug and hey let's rant about Obama. Barack HUSSEIN Obama was obviously born on another planet where they invented sin and sold it to the Muslims. ISIS is really the Democrat party.

Then we have the lone black female and sometimes male. What does this tell you about black people? They are for the most part much smarter than white people. It doesn't take the gang of five to say a bunch of stupid stuff, one can do it for everyone. Of course, that one can be pretty tiresome at cocktail parties.

But I digress. Comments could be intelligent at one time. Then everybody started saying whatever they felt like. It was anonymous. Sometimes a troll was born who just disagreed with everyone for the fun of it. Then they tried to clean up Dodge. Afterall, there were too many buy my incredibly valuable artwork cheep links which were malware that could clean your bank account out in no time.

A youth pastor in an Atlanta suburb was arrested for having sex with a fourteen year old parishioner. This brought out normal comments.



Now which one was written by White guy, Black guy, Tea Partier.

My thoughts were, "What, he ain't no thug? or What, no one is calling him a thug? or Why isn't the black guy questioning why this guy hasn't been called a thug? Actually I had a wittier one. But if you don't write it down, you just forget. So I suppressed my inner troll for the sake of being a decent human being.

The answer is 1. white guy    2. Black guy     c. Tea Partier

Anyway, Happy New Years. 2017 here we come.



16 comments:

  1. lol don't feed the trolls. Sometimes it is hard to resist leaving a snarky comment though. I like that ups and downs in bed one. I may have to use that.

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    1. You'll be noticed with that nifty line Pat. Snark and funny are hard to put in a comment.

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  2. Indeed here we come in 2017! People sitting anonymously behind a keyboard can be cruel sometimes and very troll like. I've seen people come completely apart by a troll on their blog. I'm thankful I've been spared.

    betty

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    1. The worst I have had is the link to take advantage of someone. I haven't had a real troll on my blog so I don't know how I would react. But ---- I would hope to be able to remember it is their problem not mine. Blogging has helped me know my mind better. The biggest thing I learned this year is to not beat around the bush about my opinions or not discuss the topics which means politics. Now, I plan to abstain. But in other areas I plan to say more of what I think and hopefully those offended will accept a difference in opinion.

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  3. Coming from a large family it was best to watch what one said and my mom started the say only good thought early. Hard not to sometimes , one may just want to let someone have it.

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    1. I come from a large family too. Even though we are Southerners, our Yankee roots show and we can get loud. But not too often. We usually agree to disagree and move on. I have an older brother I'm very close to. He is a hard core Republican and I a Democrat. We actually agree on a lot and respect the other's right to have another opinion.

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  4. I have never been trolled on blog or facebook. Never been spammed either. My daughter with her feminist/atheist views gets trouble some of the time. I did hide so called friends and their really offensive fake news posts, when it got bad....I have not brought them back.

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    1. I hid quite a few folks posts. I feel like you need to know what is being said. But then it is so depressing and more depressing that a decent person is posting it. Plus, some went crazy and must have posted 50 every hour on the hour.
      I did not think too deeply when I wrote this post. I was thinking about I often feel a joke about the most serious of things. My dad joked when things got tense and I do too. I think that is where my dark humor comes from.

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  5. There is such a deep political divide in our country now. It's like a cold civil war.
    Just read your comment about joking. Jokes and humor are excellent medicine;)

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    1. The irony is that both sides want many of the same things. The my way or the highway mentality needs to go.

      I agree about jokes. Good for the humors.

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  6. People will spout vicious, terrible things when they can hide behind an anonymous online identity. Can there really be that many mean people? Happy New Year to you and may we both witness some kindness this year.

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    1. People can be that mean. I worked for a principal who had a student expelled from all schools in Georgia for a half inch pocket knife. But she could shed some crocodile tears for herself.

      Kindness is a good thing. Thanks you Susan.

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  7. Never feed them after midnight, get them wet, or shine bright lights on them...oh, never mind, that is for mogwai and gremlins. *wink*

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    1. And if you feed them for seven days, they are yours according to Animal control. lol

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  8. I think it was Jimmy Buffet who sang "If we couldn't laugh we would all go insane". No kidding, huh? Love the Flea poem and thanks for the giggles!

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    1. Jimmy Buffet may be no Bob Dylan, but he is a sage on a stage for sure.

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