I thought it would take me awhile to channel my inner snark. But hey it was there quivering for release. I read a blogpost of a fairly well read, well sold writer. Since insulting people is not the best way to get on their good side, below I have completely re-written their blog post. The gist is still the same.
With the ups and downs in life, great tragedies and good times too. Happy New Years.
My inner snark wishes to reply, "No wonder you're a children's writer, you write blog posts like the average intellectual 6th grader writes book reports. The average 6th grader would write. " Mom pics bad buks a horse croaks."
I know a few children writers who read my blog, and it is not you. However, feel free to write as corny a book report as you can in the comments. It's always nice to know the complexities of life can be summed in a short sentence.
My gosh, political commentators give answers to complex problems in 30 second sound bites. We got a President who can do that now. The only problem will happen if Congress listens to him which probably won't happen. My way or the highway philosophy sounds more like leadership to their constituents.
Thus my favorite poem named Fleas.
Author unknown, I wonder why. I might claim the little ditty and charge folks a pence to use it.
My favorite yearbook comment one year was, "May all your ups and downs be in bed." The eighth grade male was incredulous that some girl's parents were offended. It sounded so snappy.
I love to read the comments to news articles. It's amazing how the politically minded can relate anything to the side they abhor.
Man's 20 foot python saves Family from Intruder.
" Oh no, the libtards may take away our snakes."
" Rush Limbaugh ate his neighbor's snake. That's why his tongue is so forked."
In our local paper, it degenerates to "whose a thug". We have a tag team of about five people with fake Facebook pages. They are white and if the person is remotely black, you have a thug and hey let's rant about Obama. Barack HUSSEIN Obama was obviously born on another planet where they invented sin and sold it to the Muslims. ISIS is really the Democrat party.
Then we have the lone black female and sometimes male. What does this tell you about black people? They are for the most part much smarter than white people. It doesn't take the gang of five to say a bunch of stupid stuff, one can do it for everyone. Of course, that one can be pretty tiresome at cocktail parties.
But I digress. Comments could be intelligent at one time. Then everybody started saying whatever they felt like. It was anonymous. Sometimes a troll was born who just disagreed with everyone for the fun of it. Then they tried to clean up Dodge. Afterall, there were too many buy my incredibly valuable artwork cheep links which were malware that could clean your bank account out in no time.
A youth pastor in an Atlanta suburb was arrested for having sex with a fourteen year old parishioner. This brought out normal comments.
Now which one was written by White guy, Black guy, Tea Partier.
My thoughts were, "What, he ain't no thug? or What, no one is calling him a thug? or Why isn't the black guy questioning why this guy hasn't been called a thug? Actually I had a wittier one. But if you don't write it down, you just forget. So I suppressed my inner troll for the sake of being a decent human being.
The answer is 1. white guy 2. Black guy c. Tea Partier
Anyway, Happy New Years. 2017 here we come.