Mercury in Retrograde

I know you should be triply and quadrupuly and downright paranoid about what you put on the internet. Yes it does creep me out to see this fuzzy picture of myself displayed in places on the internet.

So I wrote a critical blog. It's not that I am afraid of being wrong. I will be wrong. It's the fact that I was unfair. I took the blogpost down and I googled my name several months later and there it pops up. Of my 200 plus posts, what title pops into view. Fortunately It linked to my latest post.

I had gone to a group meeting and realized an inner group was waiting for some of us to leave so they could lunch together. To expect to be included was too much. It told me about what I had missing in my life, friendship. I have friends but I have become isolated because of my family responsibilities.

Things are not going to get better. It is a two edge sword. I have these people I love and a limit on freedom. I have freedom to build friendships, social time and not the people I love. You can see why I accept the situation. You just can't have your cake and eat it too.

I have continued meeting with these people. The kick to my creativity is immense. I leave with ideas streaming from my head. Who knows I may make a friend.

I also learned that I need to make some time to socialize. Since I started writing I have learned one aspect of unbidden fantasy and strong emotion is the unfulfilled need driving it.


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