Tweets and Twerps

Well, I plan my first foray into the twitter verse with the A to Z Challenge. I don't know how to do this but I guess I should learn. Sometime – I wonder how the A to Z Challenge participants will feel. I'm feeling a bit mischievous.

Lets be honest, you can't really be bad ass until you're sixty. I'm not sixty but close so I'll be edging it. First item in my adventure is I am using my Kindle. It has an auto correct to howl for except when it changed the word terrific to horrible. I have an excuse if any of my comments go viral. Depending on popularity, I'll say, Dang that auto correct or -

Yep, yep, I be that cool. That's me with the slate gray chihuahua in her lap as she cruises down the interstate at 45 mph singing to
  .

I'm so past those menopausal sweats with AC on high in the middle of December coming back from Atlanta around midnight with Simple Minds, Don't You Forget About Me blasting on the radio as a travel a lonesome back road home.

Meanwhile, let me work on some tweets.

I could repeat some of my 92 year old great aunt's jewels of thought. I would give you her name; but, my family would not appreciate it. I would give another name; but, hey I've had relatives and friends with those names too. I could call her Marie Antoinette. No one named their child that. Although I know people named Marie and Antoinette.

My grandfather was Benjamin Franklin Bennett. My great grandparents were emigrates from France. They lived where the land moved between Germany and France. The fact they were ethnic Germans but left when Germany took over in the late 1800s is interesting. They Anglicized their names with enthusiasm. The original last name was Benet without a dash.

I'm not too good with zingy one-liners until it is an hour later after someone has made me mad. But I'm making a list of statements of 140 characters or less.

1. Eat two apples and you'll have a good bowel movement advises Marie Antoinette.
2. Buy my book. I am so funny. (Then provide a link for a $600 book on Amazon. Sure I didn't write the book. But, I haven't published a book. I just want to put on airs.)
3. Super book if you are flexible. (Provide a link to the Karma Sutra)
4. My blog is really smoking, all of my 384 posts get a hit everyday from someone in Russia, Ukraine and China. That makes 1156 hits a day. Actually I get 1200 hits a day. 4 people from the States, UK, Canada, Australia or India drop by periodically. Does that make me an international hit?
5. Alright,I was just bragging in my last tweet. Does that make me an international hit? Who knew twitter truncated.
6. What twitter eliminated the first part of number 4 tweet. That makes me sound like no one much reads my blog when you only look at my numbers in countries where English is widely spoken. I wonder why no one in the Philippines drop by. I know, I need some recipes with coconut.
7. A few superstars live at my house. Loretta Lynn, Bo Duke, Jim Dandy, Daisy Fuentes, Buttons, Chubby Checkers, are a few. Bo Duke rolls up in a queen bed quilt on my bed every night. He's a chihuahua in overdrive.
8. How do you feel about comma splices? What you don't know what a comma splice is? I do.
9. What do you mean calling these twerps? They are tweets. Besides you make it sound like I am the twerp,
10. Share the most obnoxious political meme I can find. Believe me, someone will share it on Facebook.
11. My twitter name is @annbennett12. Follow me please! I'm working on having more followers than following. It looks cool man.

I have thought of a few more ridiculous things to say. Actually, I forgot them, or I would keep on listing.

I don't know if I will really do one of the twitter conversations. I would like to learn how it works. This old dog does try to learn new tricks. 

One old trick I will use is be myself. I started commenting so people would get some feedback from who was visiting. I've always been a quiet person and responding was a challenge. My first thought was what was intelligent to say. Now I read and react to what piques my interest. Blogs tend to touch many points. I go back and read good comments and replies. 

I have no idea what I will say. Hopefully none of my suggestions. Please share any good twerps you can think of.