To be

My reading selection nowadays is made up of people I meet. It is a good way to choose books from the multitude of reading material available. I sat with some writers and shared my method of choosing books. The part that got a bitter comment was that I go to a thrift shop and buy books. I buy them at yard sales too.

I'll read the Gary Jones book first. These are the books I
purchased at the writing conference. It is a nice mix.

That thrift shop is Happy Hour Service Center which is a workshop for the developmentally disabled which my older brother proudly attends. The proceeds are used to pay for dental care and other necessities for clients in which funds are not available. So any money or donations I give is for a very good cause. I do believe in donating locally for that reason.

It doesn't bother me when my donation is used for a salary. But a higher percentage goes to clients than these charities that seem to send you a request by the day. One time I went to see Billy Graham and made the mistake of making a donation by check. The event was free but the auditorium wasn't and I wanted to pay my part. Well you guessed it, I was inundated with requests for money from them.

My preferred book is nonfiction. The writer who made the comment wrote women's fiction, i.e. romance. I only read romance and science fiction when I know the author or someone recommends it to me. Otherwise, I don't read much of either. I like nonfiction and literary fiction. I felt the writer's pain in saying her book was probably in there. My mind said loudly, "I would only read your book if you were being more positive." Luckily, she could not hear that.

This goes back to reading used books. I'm sure she reads them too. I like the fact that they are pre-selected. When I see an old dog eared book, I check it out. If it was worth reading and underlining, you know it may be a great read. I love reading old out of print books. I have some from the 1800's.

My current desire is to read Shakespeare. There is so much out there to read. It is always have you read so and so. There are so many people to read, my mind spins. But this is not where I reference Hamlet's soliloquy. It is about an attitude I have.

A teacher wanted me in high school to join her work-study program. I was fairly smart and more importantly, well behaved. My mom wanted me to take the secretarial courses so I could qualify for a job. I have never regretted the two years of typing I took. It made me a better typist and I learned a lot about the world of business writing.

In wanting me to join her program, she said, "People like you don't go to college." It really cut me to the bone. Mostly because I already knew I was a member of the great unwashed. I knew it in elementary school. So I went to college.

I was glad I was not a complainer. That very teacher was my dad's water aerobics buddy later on. I still felt the rub with her. She recognized me and asked how my friend who accepted the comment and entered her program. I will say my friend was smarter and much better behaved than I. That particular teacher's own daughter did not go to college. Little did she know she made that man in the pool very happy. My dad had wanted me to go to college.

At the writing conference, the reviewer of my screenplay told me it was confusing and he couldn't follow it. I don't know if it was the screenplay or the synopsis. I was expecting him to do the talking and he kept wanting me to summarize it real quick and I just got tongue tied. It was a rambling, hellacious discussion which was thankfully short. My only beef is that I got no direction to work with. So I plan to sit down with some friends and do a table read and get their opinions.

I also think, do I want to waste my money on a pipe dream. I think a college education paid off. However, entering that work-study program would have been good too. So it puts me with the to be or not to be idea. What a bummer.

This is Hamlet's soliloquy.

To be, or not to be: that is the question.
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them? To die: to sleep:
No more: and by a sleep to say we end

The heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks
That flesh is heir to, 'tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wish'd. To die. to sleep;
To sleep: perchance to dream: ay there's the rub:
For in that sleep of death what dreams may come
When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,
Must give us pause: there's the respect
That makes calamity of so long life:

For who would bear the whips and scorns of time,
The oppressor's wrong, the proud man's contumely,
The pangs of despised love, the law's delay,
The insolence of office and the spurns
That patient merit of the unworthy takes

When he himself might his quietus make
With a bare bodkin? who would fardels bear
To grunt and sweat under a weary life
But that the dread of something after death,
The undiscover'd country from whose bourn
No traveller returns, puzzles the will
And makes us rather bear those ills we have
Than fly to others that we know not of?

Thus conscience does make cowards of us all:
And thus the native hue of resolution
Is sicklied o'er with pale cast of thought,
And enterprises of great pith and moment
With this regard their currents turn awry
And lose the name of action, -- Soft you now?

The fair Orphelia! Nymph, in they orisons
Be my sins remember'd.