Catch Me If You Can

One of my most, very favorite writers is Dr. Seuss. He had a story and title for almost everything. My high school and middle school students appreciated his verse more than any elementary student. His book, "Oh The Places You Will Go" sums up my sentiments of blogging.

I will admit, I began blogging to create a platform for a book. Unfortunately so much advice winds around selling a book you plan to write and not how to be a good writer. You would think my blog has been a waste since I have yet to produce a book.

Louise is a water dog. She wants to splatter in the puddles, and raindrops don't bother her. 

I've learned to write leaner and to write what people want to read. I will confess that my blog is more a reflection of what is going on around me.

What is the best thing about blogging? I've learned about things I never knew of or thought about. I knew I was a Canadaphile. What has been surprising is the volume of good books out of India. I am currently reading a dystopian romance, The Many Lives of Ruby Iyer, by Laxmi Hariharan.

Indirectly, I have met Australians on their own turf. I love it when they post a recipe. I try to think of what we make that is similar. I have always wanted to go to Australia but know that will probably not happen. Which is another unexpected benefit of my blog. I've met some great people and enjoyed writing and getting comments.

Comments were difficult for me at first. I never volunteered to answer questions in school. As an educator, I knew I had to win the hearts of my students to get the best from them. I also knew I had to avoid ruffling feathers of parents. So I avoided opinions at all costs. I shared a classroom with a teacher who shared fairly strong opinions. Some I agreed with. None were appropriate to preach to a captive audience.

So making comments was a hurdle. Then to make a relevant comment. I remember children running into me in the grocery store. I know they must have thought I stepped in a magic changing closet at the end of the school day until the next day for their class. My favorite comment was, "I like cherry soda too."  Good thing I had not stocked up on beer and cigs.



Anyway, my theme for the A to Z challenge will be My Favorite Stories, Jokes or Memes. I promise to keep everything short. Besides, I plan to try to catch all the blogs this year. Catch me if you can.

Ready or not, spring is here. We really did not have a winter this year. When we have hard freezes, I have to hook up the heater in the well house to make sure the pump doesn't freeze. This entails 150 feet of an extension cord. I carefully thread the intersection of two cords into the holes of a large concrete block opening.  The only thing I did this winter was let an outside spigot drip one night.

Carolina Jessamine

I know, why would anyone complain. It is going to be a bumper crop of bugs this year. Fleas, ticks, you name it will come a calling. I want to buy some chickens and guineas this year. They are both good to keep insects at bay. I'm not much of a poisoner.

As a scientist, I know a much larger percentage of poison is needed per body mass to kill an insect. Secondly, it is a temporary fix. Plus, I love all the birds and visiting wildlife. Poison is not that great for them. It is not that great for humans either.

Such is the yin and yang of life.

What I think about is what my mother said to me as a kid. I would like to take a day off of school and her big quote was "A big part of life is showing up." which helps to keep the house clean too.

I've been catching up with my housework. I hope to have my head above water by the end of the month. My brother gets a ride for most of the distance to the workshop he attends which opens my day up big time. Hopefully, I can get back on schedule next week with daylight savings time.

What is your opinion on the time change. I hate it. I like the extra hour of daylight in the morning. But it is not bad in the morning too.

Use a screen capture to kill those ugly links.

About once a month I get a piece of mail with the enticement about my final expenses and a $100 Walmart gift card. They know how to tantalize a senior citizen. A discount or freebie reels them in.

I know why older folks have such strong opinions. I'm still busy with a lot of of hurry up and wait type of stuff going on. So I look at things I may not have bothered with at one time.

Like, who has left a foot print on my visitor's log with blogger. Mind you, most are vague. However, I have used the Russian search engine Yandex and read some of their newspapers translated to English via Google. However, look what they say about my blog. The first is the translation and the second is the Russian version. My blog is apparently being accused of phishing.

I know, I know, I shouldn't look at spam. However I got two of these at the same time. It is just funny. I'm a woman, there is nothing I want to look larger. But hey I have heard walnuts are good for what ails you.

This is a screen capture which I have cropped. When I cut and pasted, the links were still alive and I had to kill those suckers.  The funniest part was the link to remove yourself from their email list. I would never hit any of those links.

I probably should not have included that address on the bottom. You know the link probably has nothing to do with that address. One time I got a spam from the head of the UN with a yahoo email. Imagine, someone that important wanting to give me a truckload of money if I will send them a couple of thousand dollars.

The funniest line was Walnuts being called the "King of the Nuts" which can be interpreted several ways. I thought the King of the Nuts would use one of the links. Of course, It could be nuts as in male gonads. But I am sure someone who would write an email with the crude title meant walnuts only, sarcasm intended.

In the Quiet

A great summer job when I was a teenager was working in the peach packing house. They were always hiring, you got plenty of hours and a paycheck. A nearby packing house has adults, mostly women working there.

Picking peaches could pay well but it is hot work. Today, many guest workers from Mexico do the work. I have always thought it would be a great job for college students. It does not last all summer and does pay well. You are paid at the rate you pick.

My mom occasionally will say she would love to pick peaches in the summer. She knows her body is too worn for the work; but, she is still a worker at heart. We drive by some errant grape vines that need trimming. We both have the urge to start wacking.

My first day working at the packing house produced wave after wave of nausea. The movement of the conveyor belt is a bit much. Today with headphones, you could boogie away the time. I remember the hum and monotony of the work. Lots of thinking filled the air.

I read a blog today about how to get writing insights and one suggestion was exercise. After water aerobics I write well. I have not started meditating. To slow down and collect thoughts is apparently difficult.

The memory of working in the peach packing house brought back a memory. In 1982, my teaching contract was not renewed. The principal told me to tell people that it was due to the layoff which was indeed happening. They reduced 88 positions in the county I worked in.

The truth was, I had a lot of difficulty with the students. Students were able to choose their teacher and it had become easier that year due to the other science teacher being someone the students could run over as easily as me. That teacher chose to not come back the next year.

The fact that I taught 36 to 38 students in five classes each day and was on the lowest rung of the pay scale should have discouraged me. My dad seemed actually happy I lost the job, and I could not understand why.

I did not teach particularly bad students. In later years, I would deal with much more difficult and "bad" students. I was just too young and dumb to handle the situation. I remember I thought it was horrible, and I was so very ashamed. My sister had started having symptoms of schizophrenia and my family was stressed with this unknown territory.

My principal knew I was planning to go to pharmacy school in time. He recommended that as a good opportunity. I was not cut out for teaching.

I needed to work about one more year to attend pharmacy school. My family was stressed. I was out of work. I took a job at the packing house to keep the money rolling in. I remember a young black teacher was so insulted that the teachers felt it was degrading that I worked in the packing house. She was and they said nothing.

At the time, I said nothing which was probably wise. They were saying the same thing about her too. She was a temporary teacher and not in my situation which was fear of the future and being a failure.  All I needed was to be in a big stink from repeating what I heard or saying something to those teachers.

One of my problems with the other teachers were my roots. I did not feel any shame working an honest job. I was not born to money and did not pretend to have genteel roots. Impoverished nobility was not something I related to.

That summer working, I had time to think. I was working in June and knew the job would fizzle in mid August. I had applied for several jobs.

Ronald Reagan made tax cuts for the wealthiest and started his "trickle down" economic stimulus which led to a huge recession in 1982. Congress and he quickly reversed course. In the meantime the area in which I lived had a boom or bust cycle. It was definitely bust.

My summer paycheck would be gone in August and I better find a better situation. I took the open day off and traveled to Atlanta and found a place to live. I had heard you could make $7 an hour working at McDonalds which was a good salary. Apparently, the apartment manager liked me. I took a lease beginning August 1st but she told me I could move in early for free.

I found a job. I would have worked anywhere and turned down three job offers. Not that I wanted to be a teacher but I liked the woman who interviewed me. So I became a teacher. I never intended to make a career of teaching. I had so much fun that year at the school, I signed on for the next year.

Inspiration comes in the quiet. I've always felt that something divine speaks to you and if you slow down you can hear it. I haven't started meditation. But I still plan to.

When did writing conferences become vacations

   Somehow, something I started to make money is actually a hobby. I've never really had a hobby. I've read a lot my entire life. I put a lot of effort into my job. I've had many, many animals. I love to travel. I've traveled a bit.

Growing up in a military town, I have always loved people from different countries. I took cardboard, newspaper and magazines to be recycled. There was magazines for Indian-Americans. Of course I dragged them out to look over. They will travel around in the trunk of my car until I dump them out next time with the recycler. There is never enough time.

I am so ambitious with my writing. You would think I would write a bit more than I do. I have been a bit paralyzed writing some stories. I sing them in my head. Think of a bit more depth for each one. Write specific scenes. Disorganized is an apt description. I am organizing and actually finishing some projects. This year is my time to submit some of what I've been writing.

My first start is with a conference I'm going to in June. It is the Southeastern Writer's Conference at St. Simons, GA. I went last year but did not take advantage of their many opportunities. I wasn't ready and part of this deal is to relax and enjoy the process. There is a part of me that has a hard time coughing that out. I've always been so driven.

I've signed up for two more conferences. One is the Writer's Police Academy which is organized by Lee Lofland and Sisters in Crime. The other is Silverhart in Louisiana by husband and wife Scott Silverii and Lilian Hart. Meanwhile my writing is drifting from pantsing to plotting.

Now whether I attend any of them is of question. I have paid the conference fees. I have not bought an airline ticket for the Writer's Police Academy. I delay paying more than I have to. Last year, I did not know for sure whether I would get to attend any of them until the day before. My sister had a heart attack the week before the Southeastern Conference. Who knows what the year will bring.

Anyway, what conferences have any of you attended?

Big Changes

It seems like I went to school about a million years ago at times. Retirement is a mixed bag. I retired early to take care of family. I saw myself eventually going back to work. I now know, it is not going to happen. Besides, all of my references have or are retiring too.

Around 2000, I taught one child whose mother kept making references to playing basketball for Northside High School which was my Alma mater. When I was in high school, participation in any of the athletics made you popular, big time. But I didn't remember her. Such was my fascination with the basketball team.

My sister who was six years younger remembered her. Her memory is that the woman thought very big of herself back then. It is with a little snicker we had a laugh at her expense. Snobbery does not pay. It had been twenty years but membership on the basketball team apparently carried a lot of clout in adulthood.

I later witnessed the same woman having to eat a large piece of humble pie which was quite humbling to me. Braggadocio often masks a lack or a sheer unknowing that we all have feet of clay. I wanted to dislike her, but I couldn't after that. I knew she had been aggravating in school. A co-worker who had taught her maintained she was much older than me. The fact that I had gone on in school before she started did not stop the image. Beauty certainly is reflected in how people treat you.

Pride can make you do disastrous things to maintain appearances. Pretensions come across as being a phony. We buy items we can ill afford to keep up with the Jones.

What got me on this topic was a blog hop looking for what you would write your teenage self.

It was so long ago but the memory still lingers nearby. Moving back to my hometown, I meet former friends and enemies of my schooldays. I ran into one woman where I exercise. My first thought was to avoid her. We were frienemies in school.  Then I thought, that is silly.

Her mother would hold me as an example of how she would like her to be in junior high. Her mother died when she was a teenager. I always understood the hurt she felt from her mother.

I was the sort of kid that adults loved. If they only knew what a pain in the arse I could be to my own set of parents. I held a job, did chores for my parents, made high grades in school. I talked back to my mother at home. My dad would often talk to me about not aggravating my mother so badly.

I approached my former schoolmate, and she pretended not to recognize me at first. She had done some nasty school girl things to me before life moved us in different directions.  I know the laugh I felt inside had to explode from my eyes. Then the relaxation when she knew I came in peace.

Squabbles that occurred 40 years prior materialized in her mind the same way they were in mine. We weren't those teens anymore. If we could remember specifics, we would have had a good laugh.

What would I go back and tell my teenage self is nothing. Some of the worst things in my life have helped me grow as a person. You just can't really know what you haven't experience.

I had someone tell me I was not a good driver because of my complaint that a car with a manual transmission are bad to roll backwards on a hill when you go from a breaking position to moving forward. Several years later, they called me to move a truck they had allowed someone to park in their driveway. They could not drive a manual.

I feel very lucky to become a senior citizen. So many people did not get the opportunity. To say I have had disappointments in life in an understatement. Those experiences have allowed me to know that I have had a lot of good in my life. I would have never understood that paradox as a teenager.

Ten Big Things I learned while Blogging.

1. How to make a Button for people to put on their blogs to advertise your blog. I actually spent some

time learning to make myself a button. I had posted many other buttons on my blog. Sort of a

homemade vest covered with colorful patches. Then I learned. Unless there was something really big on your blog like a bloghop, you really did not need a button. So I took mine down along with about twenty from other blogs. My post sharing how to make a button is  How to Create a Blog Button to Share

2. If you find a good community of writers online, be supportive. I stumbled on trifecta.com and loved it. I did not always have time to write but it was the most rewarding opportunity. I never purchased any items. I never donated. They were just as gracious and supportive of this nobody as anyone else. I wish I had made a donation. There is another one that is similar with some familiar faces of trifecta. It is Grammar Ghoul Press

My favorite now is the A to Z Challenge.  There is really no money to donate except for donations to the education of the children of a former host who passed away. They do have a t-shirt. I plan to buy one even though I do not wear t-shirts.

3. Decide right away whether your blog is political or about writing. Everybody blogging is writing. I had a hard time moving away from this topic. However, my writing is better because of it. Politics is a prickly pear. If people agree with you, they do. Otherwise, you turn them off and rarely on to your ideas. Frankly, we all get enough memes about politics on Facebook. Write your feelings but don't hit that publish button unless you are sure you want your writing to revolve around politics.

4. Dark topics reduces readers. It is also true that your first few lines hook readers. Many stop if the post does not suit their taste.

5. Unless the topic is incredibly exciting like homemade sin, reduce, reduce, reduce what you write.

6. You will be surprised what people like. You will understand why some posts are barely read a year or two later.

7. Look over social media buttons, etc on your blog. I had always wondered why people looked at my Facebook page but never liked it. I had a button that said Like my Facebook page but only took people to my page. I've fixed it. Now I need to post something on that page periodically.

Another big one on blogger is the Google Plus button. Just because you are connected on Google Plus, it does not mean anyone gets updates of a new blog post. You need to post your blog on Google Plus. There is also a Google Friend Connect which allows your new blog posts to show up on folks blogger dashboard.

8. Be careful who you associate with. They will give you writing ideas. I hate vampires. I am from the South. I am a Baptist. We don't like the boogerman. I'm open minded. I don't believe in vampires. I still don't find anything sexy about them. I wrote a few vampire stories to take all the glitz and glamour out of these creatures of fiction. Well, you guessed it I have written a touching vampire screenplay.

I do like science fiction. I like literary fiction better. I want to write literary fiction. I've been reading fellow bloggers who write sci-fi. Yes, a sci-fi story is dancing in my head. I plan to call names on a later post. They will love the publicity, albeit small.




9. Visit blogs and carefully make comments. I have a policy of making comments. I see it as being sociable. I have made comments on blogs that I wish I had not. Even when you go back and put them in the trash, your name is still there. My biggie is talking about a hot topic and not really knowing how what I am writing will be perceived or misunderstanding the discussion. How embarrassing.

10. Don't write about specific people without their permission. You can discuss many a topic without giving specifics that can cause you problems. Write what you want. Then use that wonderful delete button on information that singles people out. You will be surprised how well your writing stands without that information. I know from experience. Be careful with the publish button. I have published a few things unwittingly. I no longer write directly to blogger but use a word document to write.