Saturday, May 22, 2021

Life is Good

     Well we dodged a proverbial bullet on my birthday. The day before my mother wanted to eat some Japanese food and it made her ill. I'm agreeing with her that it was a bit of food poisoning. (My developmentally delayed brother is the only person in the family that will argue with mom. When you look at family photos, my mother has him next to her with her arm around him.) Truth is, the food was too oily for her stomach. I fear what makes Japanese and Chinese food tasty are meat renderings. 

   We like a dish called company cabbage. You add a bit of vinegar and bacon to the cooked cabbage. When carrying the leftovers from the dining room to the kitchen I got a whiff of Chinese food. Hence I discovered one of the magic ingredients in Chinese food is probably bacon grease. My former night school students who worked at restaurants told me they coated potato skins with bacon grease before they were cooked to create a popular appetizer at that time.

   It truly is very scary with a 90 year old parent. I spent the night in her room. Before going to bed, she told me she was scared of dying. I told her that was quite reasonable. She was having difficulty breathing and had only taken one of her meds that day. So I had her take her water pill with her portable toilet by her bed. We proceeded to sleep. I slept through her getting up and down to deal with the water pill. At 3:30 am, I woke up and thought it was morning. Took a few dogs out and looked at the time. I decided to lay down on my bed for a quick snooze and woke at 7 am. When I returned to my mother's room, she was back to normal. I cheered her up. Did she want to go grocery shopping tomorrow.

  So once again I went to my personal purgatory. I purchased sodas but somehow I filled my buggy with other items. Mostly I sat in the car with the dogs until my sister returned. She loves the grocery store too. We shop at a Kroger that sells housewares, clothes, shoes. It is a great one stop shop similar to Walmart without the electronics department. I had two books with me. I am reading one that is "meh". I plan to finish to broaden myself. Isn't it bad luck to not finish a book. 

   "Little Scarlet" by Walter Moseley is calling my name. I look at that sleek red cover, oh my. Oh my, I'm definitely 65. Walter Moseley's sleuth is Easy Rawlins. I'm hoping he proves to be interesting. I saw Walter Moseley speak in the online Bouchercon this past year. He has a cool voice which I expect to hear as I read. I am hoping to go to Bouchercon this next August in New Orleans. It is a 6 hour drive which is reasonable. 

  It is a funny feeling when your mother who announced every year I was her best mother's day present has forgotten my birthday. This is the second time, so the sting is not there. And then, she asks me about my birthday a few days later. My mom's younger sister who is 79 has told her she has Sundowners. What is it with siblings? Fortunately, my mom thinks it is a family thing and is easily cured by a cup of herbal tea. My mother had a bit of disorientation when she was hospitalized about two years ago. This is when my aunt made the diagnosis. 

But where does time go. I think I'll have my mother awhile. She really is of sound mind for the most part. She does remind me to attend to some financial affairs of hers. But that decline is something I recognize even in myself. And for the record, I am not a big birthday person. Now if my brother Tim was alive, the day would have been celebrated Covid or No Covid. 

We have been to the regular doctor and heart doctor. Things are looking good. Both men are very good men. Mom spent her time at the heart doctor explaining how she made soap back in the day. He basically told me to keep good records of her blood pressure so he could tell how her meds were working. 

Today in the grocery store, there was a very cute and grumpy little girl who was say a year old. I smiled and waved at her. She liked that. We took turns waving at each other. Sometimes, I get to be a teacher again where I learned some mystical body language that appeals to children. When I see young girls with their moms at the store, I remember shopping with my mom and the counter being something I could never see over. I wonder how many of those girls will be shopping with their mom for the fun of it when they are 65 and mom is 90.


 


14 comments:

  1. Happy belated birthday.
    And hooray for dodging the food poisoning bullet, despite the discomfort the oily food causes your mother (and you).
    I hear you on losing facilities. And hope I can hang onto my mind for a bit longer yet.

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    1. Thanks for the wishes. It seems like the birthdays come pretty quickly of late. Hanging onto my mind is my hope too.

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  2. Happy belated birthday.
    And if you mom is off a bit about your birthday, that's not so bad.

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    1. Truly my mom does well. She bathes dresses herself. I should look as tidy when I walk out the door.

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  3. Lovely birthday cake and candles! Happy belated Birthday!
    Your Mom sounds OK at her age.You seem to be ,indeed, her best Mother's day present!

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    1. It is an interesting view into life living with an elderly parent. Although I am getting there, I don't know if I am tough enough to weather old age.

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  4. Looking after a 90 year old is quite a business. Luckily my mother didn't need any help until she was around 95 and then she was in a care home for nine months where she died. My father died when he was 70.

    Good to know your mum is still mostly of sound mind. Hadn't heard the term Sundowner before. Sounds like a useful term. And that's a lovely birthday cake.

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    1. I'm closer to my mom in that I have two disabled siblings that she needed help with. Mom would probably be pretty saucy in an assisted living if not for her concern for them. It works. We all contribute in our own ways. But it works. Besides the family secrets she slowly spills may have been almost a century old but they are still a bit surprising.

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  5. I feel like I lost my mom at 88...she was 93 when she passed. Losing memory is a cruel fate of aging. Enjoy her time, i'm sure she is a treasure.

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    1. I agree about losing memory. It is more grievous for the survivors than the victim. In my mom's family, they make it into the 90s. I've noticed they all slip a bit eventually.

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  6. My mother in law passed away a month short of her 90th birthday. Aging is so hard on both the elderly person and the family and friends. In turn, she had been the caregiver for one of her sisters when the sister's children wouldn't step in. I hope you are able to take good care of yourself. Alana ramblinwitham.blogspot.com

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  7. I am truly OK. When I started this journey, I had come to terms with a grandfather who left his family in the 1930s. His life was not one whit better from shirking his responsibilities. Just my opinion, but I think my life is improved because of my family.

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  8. beautiful posting dear Ann ,i kept cleaning my tears s your words went straight inside deepest corner of my heart .

    yes it is not okay to eat oily food in 90 indeed.
    i tried hard to stop my my who was in her mid seventies but she would reply if one has to die anyway ,he should not regret what he missed and this caused my mom throat cancer within less than year .
    while reading about how you look after your mom during night i envy you my friend for living life that i wanted to live with my mom ,i ran out of my luck .you are fortunate not that you still have your mom but you have opportunity to be with her and serve her !
    i never celebrated my birthday nor i felt any excitement about it i don't know why.
    being former teacher is privilege for sure .there is always chance to find former students as happens with my husband .and yes the sweetness of a heart that belongs to a teacher keeps her cheerful specially when see little ones as in your case .
    health ,peace and happiness to you and yours!

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