My life is a hurry up and wait, you're behind, you're behind, life is wonderful, I love my animals and nature, oh hell how am I going to manage this mess.
Currently, my sister is going into a wonderful assisted living facility. You can't know how much peace of mind this gives me. I have a huge sadness when I realize this is the beginning of the end for all of us. My mom is 91. There is no reason for me to feel all of our lives are over. But there is change coming. One woman who my sister tries to avoid at mealtime at the rehab constantly rehashes the things she cannot do any longer. She is talking to the wrong sister. I can sympathize with mourning for what has been.
I've healed for the most part from my fall. My back hurting at night is alleviated by getting up and sleeping in a chair. I had this problem before the fall. What is niggling me is my brother's welfare. He is developmentally delayed. So I think about moving into independent living in the near future. Not that I really need to. I am just concerned if something happened to me that he is taken care of. My other tactic is to start attending meetings with workshops organisations for the developmentally delayed.
My brother as well as myself are enjoying our retirement in our home with all of our pets. My brother will call the dogs stupid when they ignore his orders. I try to give him other words to use like hard headed, bossy. We do have spoiled animals. My sister who is moving into assisted living was aggravated with me and fussing at me. I was miserable and what does my little lap dog do. He sits by her wheelchair and refuses to come with me. I look at his warm eyes and he seems to say to me. I gots work to do taking care of Donna.
There are a myriad of animals that live around my house. There is the deer that stands nearby when I am mowing. There is another deer with her twins who live under a broken branch of an old Pecan tree. The branch is covered with wild muscadine vines. I almost cleared it last winter but ran out of time. Lucky for the deer, it makes a good shelter from the rain. There is an enormous buck that hangs around my back yard. I like the stout, alert ears of the armadillos when they see me. Today, I had a turkey buzzard on top of my house. I've started calling them country pigeons. They are everywhere like pigeons on a city street.
The red clay of rural Georgia has seeped into my soul or maybe my soul was wrested from the clay. As a young woman I wanted to live in New York City and have a very exciting life. The closest I got was Atlanta, GA. I look at a lot of my classmates and they live in the Atlanta area. What drew all of us bumpkins to Atlanta are the jobs and central heating and air. You can live so much better there.
It will take me several years to get to all the minor things to make way for a big move. It is not like it has to happen soon. I know some people put their family members in a group home as a protective move from the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune as Hamlet would say. But you know, my brother enjoys the freedom and luxury of living in a home with his pets. I can't see giving that up either.
Living in the country, you are sheltered from so much. There is really no one nearby and if someone were to think they could slip up on my house, my rag tag pack of dogs are ready. When we first moved here, we had a bulldog named Lugnut come to our yard looking for love. I had 7 female dogs and 3 males. My toy poodle bit him on his haunches. My immediate thought was that was the last of my poo boy. Then one of the females nipped him from the other side. My pack was nipping him from every direction. Lugnut decided to go home. We renamed him Luigi. Nothing that lonely for love should have been called Lugnut.
My immediate goal in life is to try to get a balance to have a bit more free time and a safety net for my family members. When one door closes another one will open and I hope I am smart enough to walk through it.
I live in the land of the anti-vaxxer. One man shared how he had two good friends who had a child to die from the vaccine. I felt like saying, who are these friends. But I dropped it with a polite, probably weak smile. I don't waste time with liars. We all have our flaws and believe me I have them. I have a temper which I control for the most part. But I don't believe in lying. I used to believe in the white lie. Over the years, I noticed the damage lies did for parents trying to raise their children. They could do a lot to correct a behavior early than let them become an older teen where it too ingrained.
I want to rewrite a screenplay I wrote. I will probably doing a big rewrite in that I have no clue on which hard drive I have a copy. When I finish, I thought I might try to make a film as a hobby. A hobby I am deadly serious about. A hobby none the less. So maybe I will write about things a bit more fun in the future. Feel free to critique the pieces I post on line. I'll give you a taste of my Scot temper marinated in the hot sun of Georgia. Then I will fix the play and thank you later.
I hope you are having a good day. My brother always said Have a good day and a better tomorrow.