Time can be a fog.

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Time can be a fog.
Glimpses, memories
Vividly dance across
Singing loudly the love and joy you shared.

Fog can be a time
a moment too much to bear
shrouded into silent darkness.



Photo credit:   Bérenger ZYLA / Foter.com / CC BY-NC-ND

Drifting through the piney wood
Down a slope where the water sometimes runs
Into the Flint in a mile or so
The cacophony of native bee
Carolina Jessamine draped
up trunks and across boughs
Bugles of yellow
Poisonous to the transplant
Good news and bumble spared.

The nature of anger

Anger has been the challenge for me the past few years. I have been angry and exercise helped me. I think it is the time to sort your thoughts as you pace on a treadmill or elliptical machine.

We know more today about how we think, why we think, brain structure and chemistry, even whether we are open minded or closed minded. Surprisingly this has nothing to do with ideology.

I went on a canoe trip with Gordon of the Flint Riverkeeper. Interestingly, he would not have any political stance. His stance was the protection of Flint River and he did not let someone's political affiliation have anything to do with enlisting them on his behalf. Politics are a fashion. He was used to getting tea party "tea baggers" as well knee jerk liberal "tree huggers" to support laws and practices that protect the Flint River and its tributaries. His political agenda was Flint River.

Fortunately most people are between the extremes. Its just that in the United States we take trends to the extreme. In the 70s it was fashionable to be liberal then we became conservative in the 80s. What goes up must come down or as Flannery O'Connor titled a story, "Everything that rises must converge." Confused, so am I.

Last night, the neighbor had a horse loose on my property. I knew it was safe from being hit by a car. After several hours, I gave up and told them they had a horse loose. The horse was frantic. He knew it was dinner time and he couldn't figure out how to get back to the barn.

The adult daughter told me that the horse was loose because someone was vandalizing their fence and she was calling the sheriff.

Well you know who the someone is. Like I can lift the electric lines from the post and the plastic cover. You would need the strength of a horse. Maybe I better go in the house and make sure my 82 year old mom is not out there pulling up fence posts from the Earth.

I had seen a horse eating grass by sticking its head underneath because the pasture is being stripped of grass. The donkeys stomp the dirt and delicately eat the roots of the grass. I knew it was the time of year horses would be breaking out for the lusher pastures of my front yard.

I said nothing. I will call the sheriff next time. It's a ticket and possible impoundment of your animal if it happens repeatedly. No I did not say anything to her. It takes an idiot to argue with an idiot. I truly mean idiot in that she and her parents are not wise enough to know goodwill is a commodity that cannot be taken for granted.

I go through a moment of rage afterwards and I think some pretty harsh thoughts. I think of cruel things I could say. School yard taunts. Then I wonder what in the world is wrong with my thinking. Will this anger consume me?

This is where I think emotionally, we are graced. I know that anger makes anyone have poor judgement and perspective.

I'm standing in the middle of piney woods on my property. The wind is gusting, it is going to rain tonight. I feel peace.

I'ma chugging on this blog in hopes that it will give me that start I need if I ever write a novel or screenplay or decent short story.

In the blogosphere, there are plenty of women like me blogging away. I have never been that fun person people flock to at cocktail parties. I have been hounded in the corner for what seemed like an eternity by an incredible talker. My problem with that talker is that I am a listener. I hear all they say and remember it. If the talk gets real tedious, you can be worn out.

In short, I am insecure. I have taught school,boring children by the multitude.

My other issue is that well, my life is not that exciting.

I cheat on my diet. Not so much now, I'm diabetic. My brother had a hole drilled in his back to drain fluid. I am petrified of any health care procedure. His aortic aneurysm sealed the deal in that department.

I would sleep to noon if I got the chance. But my life runs around everyone else's schedule. So I am up at 6 am.

Social life. Please, I am almost 60. The older you get, the more everyone thinks you should disappear unless you are that age yourself. The funniest part of being my age are the occasional man who insists on telling me they are married. Usually, they have poor health, limited income and family problems. They have a marketing perspective problem.

I'm putting up a fence on my property. I've got difficult neighbors which is common. This is the first time I have had some I have been afraid. I could excite the blog with details. However, I keep a record in case I go to court. Hopefully, the fence can go up and it will be over with.

Currently they have had horses loose on my property and of course I have been accused of tampering with their fence. Like I want the animals on my property. I have waited for them to notice. The poor animal knows the other animals are in the barn with their dinner and they are stuck on the outside.

In other words I have the "black azz". I know there are worse problems. I feel so loaded with problems. I take care of people by choice, I have a messy house, a fence that is taking awhile for me to get up, difficult neighbors. I know I have dealt with difficult things my entire life. I know that losing a loved one to death or divorce is worse. I know croaking is worse or having the big "C". But damn, I feel low tonight.

Thanking my Lucky Stars.

I've been participating in quite a few writing challenges. I know the appeal. You got your prompt. Not as much grinding of the grey matter.

One thing I have learned about the blog are my real opinions. Some of them have been surprises. I am one of those people who avoids deep thoughts. Life dishes it out pretty raw at time and I have never enjoyed those moments.

On Facebook, I have encountered two realities. One is a webcam from a state troopers car in which a car veers in the wrong lane just a little bit on a snowy highway. The correction goes haywire and a big accident ensues. The SUV that veered just a wee bit is blasted into smithereens by a big rig. Surreal and titled, How quickly life can change.


The other item is a national news story. It is about the man in Florida who lost his life when a sinkhole formed under his house. These sinkholes are natural but they also occur because we pump water out of the ground faster than the water can re-enter leaving potential sinkholes. The water supports the limestone caverns. Without water, they collapse.

http://www.ajc.com/news/ap/florida/fla-sinkhole-that-swallowed-man-grows-deeper/nWfJJ/

One thing I know, I'm blessed.

Saturday Morning Walk

Loggers at work,
The dogs did not see the bobcat I saw during our morning tromp.
Eight pounds of braun,
Mr. Bo Duke came to my call.
No snack for a displaced cat.

Blogger Helper

I've been participating in different blog challenges. Sometimes you got to talk about more than the dog, you know. Today is Saturday; but, I'm doing Five Question Friday. A day late is appropriate if you know me. I am always behind.

1. What was the most productive thing you have done this week?

Cleaned off my desk in my office and set up my new computer. The realization I have got to get rid of some clothes. They are like old friends. But friends who get me in trouble. I have had a problem with bargains. I no longer buy clothes because I've got clothes. The buys I could find.

2. Enjoying the winter or ready for spring?

Since we don't get but about six weeks of winter and it is spread thinly between the end of November and March, I am enjoying the dip below freezing last night. Maybe we will have a great peach crop this year. One of my apple trees is in bloom and one the pear trees has bloomed partially.

3. Are you an introvert or extrovert? Is your spouse the same as you?

I am definitely an introvert who would love to be an extrovert. Being single I have to make the effort. Not that I want to meet a man at this point, I just want to meet and be in the company of other people. 


4. Would you rather go without music or television for 1 year?

Television hands down. I would miss the Big BangTheory. I could tape them on DVR and watch them in an hour or two at the end of the year and be good for another year.


5. Have you ever been truly scared of someone?

I have been afraid of not handling the challenges life throws at me. At this point in life, I accept the challenges even though I am tired of being flexible and having to rise to the challenge. After watching some of television's real life crime dramas. I've been blessed.