I'ma chugging on this blog in hopes that it will give me that start I need if I ever write a novel or screenplay or decent short story.

In the blogosphere, there are plenty of women like me blogging away. I have never been that fun person people flock to at cocktail parties. I have been hounded in the corner for what seemed like an eternity by an incredible talker. My problem with that talker is that I am a listener. I hear all they say and remember it. If the talk gets real tedious, you can be worn out.

In short, I am insecure. I have taught school,boring children by the multitude.

My other issue is that well, my life is not that exciting.

I cheat on my diet. Not so much now, I'm diabetic. My brother had a hole drilled in his back to drain fluid. I am petrified of any health care procedure. His aortic aneurysm sealed the deal in that department.

I would sleep to noon if I got the chance. But my life runs around everyone else's schedule. So I am up at 6 am.

Social life. Please, I am almost 60. The older you get, the more everyone thinks you should disappear unless you are that age yourself. The funniest part of being my age are the occasional man who insists on telling me they are married. Usually, they have poor health, limited income and family problems. They have a marketing perspective problem.

I'm putting up a fence on my property. I've got difficult neighbors which is common. This is the first time I have had some I have been afraid. I could excite the blog with details. However, I keep a record in case I go to court. Hopefully, the fence can go up and it will be over with.

Currently they have had horses loose on my property and of course I have been accused of tampering with their fence. Like I want the animals on my property. I have waited for them to notice. The poor animal knows the other animals are in the barn with their dinner and they are stuck on the outside.

In other words I have the "black azz". I know there are worse problems. I feel so loaded with problems. I take care of people by choice, I have a messy house, a fence that is taking awhile for me to get up, difficult neighbors. I know I have dealt with difficult things my entire life. I know that losing a loved one to death or divorce is worse. I know croaking is worse or having the big "C". But damn, I feel low tonight.