My contribution to the Trifecta writing challenge - www.trifectawritingchallenge.com
Jeremy Miller stood at the corner waiting on the bus. It was getting dark, the wind was blowing. Pulling the drawstring to his hood, he saw the shadow. He didn't see a person. Walking casually closer to the shadow with a nonchalant whistle. Disembodied shadows, whatever, something logical was going on.
Jeremy Miller stood at the corner waiting on the bus. It was getting dark, the wind was blowing. Pulling the drawstring to his hood, he saw the shadow. He didn't see a person. Walking casually closer to the shadow with a nonchalant whistle. Disembodied shadows, whatever, something logical was going on.
As he approached the shadow, he could
find nothing that caused it and the shape did not change. Looking
back down, the shadow moved. The bus was scheduled to arrive in five
minutes. No other bus until midnight. Indecision, indecision, he
followed the shadow.
The shadow seemed to walk a quickening
pace. It crossed his mind, where was everybody. Lights were on in the
downtown buildings. Traffic seemed to have stopped.
Pausing, Jeremy began to walk back to
the bus stop. That's when he felt boxes tumbling, the shadow was
gone.
Damn, I can't keep chasing shadows.
Looking at his watch, listening, looking, there was nothing to be
seen. Without reason, he walked back curious to see himself lying injured, then
his memory came back. He had tripped on the pavement.
Breathing, coughing on saliva and small
amounts of blood, right eye seriously injured, morning coffee dried
on the pavement. He bent over, and fell into himself. Racked with
pain, he opened his left eye to see the pimpled punk at the coffee
shop he refused to tip, Anytime he thanked him, “No problem”
rippled out of his mouth.
A law enforcement officer who obviously
lifted weights made five of the youth who towered above the cop.
“I came out here for a smoke. My boss
is going to be mad I haven't come back but I decided not to leave
him”
“You did the right thing kid. I'll
talk to your boss.”
He could feel his body being lifted
onto a stretcher. Looking at the kid, he mouthed thanks. The first
sound he heard since the fall that morning, “No problem.”
the shadows are a bit eerie.
ReplyDeleteOoh, how strange to leave your body and then come back to it like that. That was a nice kid. He could've just walked away, justifying that the cheapskate didn't tip, but he did the right thing.
ReplyDeleteThat shadow is creepy indeed. Great write, love the ending.
ReplyDeleteThe kid was definitely a good guy that's why he did the right thing by helping him. Chasing shadows gives nothing at all.... That is why pople chase humans now-a-days !! Great story xx
ReplyDeleteI love the mystery in this story and the moral at the end. Well done.
ReplyDeleteI like that the streets are empty, no-one around, while he's wandering loose from his body. the idea that the dead don't see the living, and the living don't see the dead.
ReplyDeleteExcellent and clever write. Well done indeed.
ReplyDeleteAnna :o]
Intriguing - the out of body and then back in was great and unexpected.
ReplyDeleteyou pulled me in from the shadows... i enjoyed your story.
ReplyDeleteDifferent and intriguing for your reader, as well as some creepily good imagery. Thanks for linking up!
ReplyDeleteCreepy almost-ghost story! Kid may not speak much, but he's no slacker!
ReplyDeleteSuper creepy!
ReplyDelete