Deep Thoughts

I have time to think during the day that I haven't had before. I can waste time and procrastinate with the best but there is the little voice in me that likes to make every moment count.

Banyan tree, Lahaina, Mau'i, Hawaii, USA

I listen to NPR when I take my brother back and forth to Happy Hour Workshop which is about 3 hours of my day. They usually have something that informs you about the world, politics and life in general. Sometimes it is poppycock but even that can give rise to thought.

I really don't have a problem with writer's block. Typing into the faceless computer screen is my escape everyday. When I pack up this post, I'll be moping the floors. After a little household cleaner use in the bathrooms, I am going to get the pecans I've gathered to sell. I'm hoping it will cover at least half of the vet bill I will be paying tomorrow.

My three darling Chihuahua mix puppies are being spayed. It's a miserable day for all involved but not as miserable as handling a dog in heat and a multitude of puppies that no one wants.

Originally this blog was going to be something funny about getting older. A young man who is clearly deep in his thirties asked me his age yesterday. I told him. His actual age was much younger. I'm pretty good at this so I'm sure he shaved off 5 to 8 years.

A friend of mine's son tells people he is 28. I know for a fact that he is more like 38. What is it with these men not wanting to give their age?

Men have a honeymoon with crow's feet and graying at the temples being nice looking. It is not until they are in their late 50's the rug gets pulled from under them and the fact that men biologically do not age as well as women shows up.

Women can look dowdy at 25 with extra weight and look older than their husband for years. Late in life men need a woman more than a woman needs a man.

There will be a short story from yesterday's encounter. It's just the jest of what I could have said and then some. The tentative title is "The Customer from Hell."

Usually when I clean or do water aerobics, I try to develop a story for what I am writing. Today my thoughts will be more nobler. I'll be praying that a little girl named Sarah. I'll be praying for her surgery to go well and for her family. Her father was wise enough to ask for good wishes for his daughter.

There is something very solemn and knowing in the innocence of a child's face when faced with a serious illness. Love and people you have in your life is what matters most. Getting older is a gift.

Catholics versus Cousins

Some Notre Dame students are sporting t-shirts with the phrase Catholics versus Cousins in reference to the Southern stereotype of being inbred to show their allegiance to their school in its game against Alabama.

What I ask, how does a good Catholic rationalize hate speech.

We think of hate speech being only used against minorities. But hate speech is whenever someone denigrates another individual as disposable.

Hate speech also widens the divide between people who are of different ethnicity. Quite a few students at "bama" are Catholics. How does that educate Protestant youth who attend Alabama? We like people more who like us. We dislike people who disrespect us.

I know the mature, faith based folks at Notre Dame are embarrassed that students have basically "thrown their pearls before swine." I'm sure some old man says, "we're only joking". What school yard kid doesn't say that when they cross the line.

For the students, that translates to "thrown your religion into the mud of game day frivolity". You're very lucky your parents saw to it you got a faith based education. Don't confuse that with the bravado of sports. Sporting that slogan says more about you than the school rivalry. I'm sure if you put your "thinking cap" on you can think of a better slogan.

Addendum: My brother told me I got too bent out of shape on this. It's just team rivalry. Maybe I have made a mountain out of molehill. It wouldn't be the first time. However, I still don't like the shirt.

Beautiful Sunday Morning

Why do weenee dogs look like they need a uniform and medals?

I know its January; but the temperature is just right. I'm getting in shape for a 5K. My goal is to actually just walk them. At my age group there is a possibility of winning if I could run or jog a wee bit. There isn't as much competition.

There is a chick there who I know is approaching 80 who can outwalk anyone there. I know. She walks right past me repeatedly. Last year she and a chubby gal about thirty would walk past me repeatedly. I would run occasionally. It is always a very cold day in January with the Museum of Aviation run.

I was ahead of the chubby chick approaching the finish line but she got a spurt on to pass me. I felt like putting a little jog on to beat her. The older chick was slightly ahead of me strolling.  How could I take the race from someone who wanted to win.  Besides, we were so far behind the leaders of the pack.

We did complete the race in 44 minutes. My goal this year is 38 minutes. One thing I have discovered about running is that it is not that demanding on your lungs. It is hard on your muscles. Being 56, it has been a long time since I hopped, skipped and ran to get anywhere.

I also have to give a few minutes for the aspirin to kick in this morning. I have strained my back or did something. More reason to walk those three miles. If I could drop some weight, my back would not be complaining as badly.

This morning, I read a headline that said "Obese do not understand the dangers of being overweight."

Do you ever just think, "WHAT?"

I need to go back and read the article because I'm sure there is something intelligent there. How else would someone use that headline when every bit of media harangues people for having normal body sizes. I'm talking about the photoshopped pictures of incredibly small waists, larger breasts and butts on bobble headed bodies used to sell products.

I think overweight folks know. Its just hard to escape millions of years of evolution that attracts you to eat fat and sugar. An evolutionary history that meant being able to survive a year of starvation meant hardier genes passed on to the next generation.

Escaping reality

Have you ever tried to meditate? That clearing your mind and thinking of nothing is not something you can accomplish. The little clock in your brain is constantly ticking. Drive down the road and realize you have been so deep in thought how you have negotiated the traffic, stop lights is really a fear invoking.

Your subconscience is at work monitoring what your conscious mind is not doing. Spinning wacky dreams when remembered can be quite funny.

I have had only one dream where my late father came. I went to a psychic and asked why everyone had dreams with my dad and I never had any. Whether psychics are real or not, she told me the obvious. I had no unfinished business with my father. This is true. My father is probably the only person in my life that understood me. Everyone else I have to be a bit of a chameleon.

I'm incredibly lucky. I watch true crime stories on television. You can pick them up in the middle and often turn them off easily. Sort of like listening in to a talkative table next to yours in a restaurant. What strikes me is how many children suffer at the hands of a sadistic criminal parent. I can't imagine having that critical flaw in your childhood. Mine was teasing, bullying which pales considerably in comparison.

January in Georgia

January in Georgia

An ancient pecan tree whirls its skirt of branches

Against a misty morning sky

Mistletoe barrette firmly in place

Wild cherry along the fence row

Evergreen honeysuckle in a thick bough

Cat brier hangs as weathered tinsel.

A mockingbird noisily announces his domain

The ground is wet from the melted frost

Gray, burnt orange and tan

Grasses lying on the ground

Yellow cherry leaves whistling like flags in the breeze

With winter so brief

Daisy feels pretty big about herself.

In the beginning, the puppies timidly explored the plate of dog food. One or two took to eating the first time. Within a week, we had our first dogfight. Which moved us to everyone has their own plate and someone supervises the eating race.

Then Yoda, the gray one, began to eat slow. If any one of the others ventured close, she was ready to fight. Yoda is the smallest and most muscular. Yoda is the boss. Her brother who will take on most anything in the house for a morsel food defers to Yoda.

Daisy, long legged and small, would like to be boss. Periodically she challenges Yoda who takes no prisoners. The other two littermates say "what the heck" and join in with poor Daisy being assailed from all sides. Hence, Daisy now rides in the car when we shop. No amount of beating from the other dogs can persuade Daisy of her true status in the pack.

In the States we have had a fiscal cliff to contend with. People have adamant opinions and will get mad at you if you disagree. Politicians ever mindful of their power hold aren't too caring of the opinion they defend, they are mindful of keeping their power.

We have a ferocity of opinion to the point of annihilation  I read one man's post on Facebook how he didn't read the communist Atlanta Journal-Constitution. I've become numb to people who are so convinced of their opinion they no longer want to hear anything else and worried about the depth of my own opinion. Have I got opinions so strong that the truth cannot get through.

I think our opinions are what we need to survive difficult aspects of our lives. In my early twenties I read Taylor Caldwell and Ayn Rand. I was incredibly conservative before it was popular. I now know Ayn Rand was an incredible nut case. I say incredible nut case in that eccentricity not mental illness was the root of her perception of the world.

At that time in my life, I was struggling. I was different and naive as a young teacher and took heat for that. Furthermore, the person I was in love with wasn't in love with me. Last of all, I was losing my trim figure to anxiety eating and the proclivity to being overweight. The patina of childhood had worn bare and I was on my on with no safety net. I needed that independent streak to make it.

As time wore on, I found a better place in the world and could look at people and things with experience. My views softened. I know there are deadbeats. I know there are people that truly need help. I have never been able to wipe the image from my mind of an elderly woman in New Orleans who died in her wheelchair as they awaited help from the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina.

Someone had laid a coat over their head. I could picture my mother. Needing help to stand and go to the restroom when there wasn't one. Needing a glass of water to medicines that were no longer available.

We forget how well we live and assume that we have had total control over the situation. A woman I know who has a great federal job with the CDC, excellent income, excellent insurance, will state how everyone should have private insurance without government input. A very wealthy developer I know has private insurance. His premium is $1100 a month. He is thankful because his leukemia drugs are much more expensive.

On the last roadtrip, we used our BOGO free coupons at Burger King. We had a coupon for four chicken nuggets for 50 cents. Checkers had two nuggets, Daisy one and Frank the poodle one. All three were slipped portions of hamburger. When Checkers got out of the car, she ran around raising Cain with the other dogs. The big shepherd mix ignored her. Muffin and the puppies got out of her way. Then came Daisy.

Big ego, she rushed her siblings. They commenced to beat the pulp out of her again. As I lifted her with two sets of teeth attached. She was angry.

Handle those resolutions with care.

My resolutions is to leave my grudges behind. The Dalai Lama has never bad mouthed China since his exile from Tibet. The cynical part of me thinks, "Good political strategy". The person in me who gets mad thinks, "Think like the Dalai Lama."

Anyhow, I have already gotten aggravated with someone and its the worst kind. I love this person, very dear friend.

When I went to different schools doing science programs with GYSTC a teacher in Hawkinsville shared this tidbit. He used to pray for patience. Then it seemed the Lord sent him a lot to have patience with. He no longer makes that prayer.

Dang, too late now. Can you return a resolution?

No. Well I'll be careful about what ask for in the future.

Have a Great New Years and I hope all your wishes come true. Just be careful with those resolutions folks.