Have you ever tried to meditate? That clearing your mind and thinking of nothing is not something you can accomplish. The little clock in your brain is constantly ticking. Drive down the road and realize you have been so deep in thought how you have negotiated the traffic, stop lights is really a fear invoking.
Your subconscience is at work monitoring what your conscious mind is not doing. Spinning wacky dreams when remembered can be quite funny.
I have had only one dream where my late father came. I went to a psychic and asked why everyone had dreams with my dad and I never had any. Whether psychics are real or not, she told me the obvious. I had no unfinished business with my father. This is true. My father is probably the only person in my life that understood me. Everyone else I have to be a bit of a chameleon.
I'm incredibly lucky. I watch true crime stories on television. You can pick them up in the middle and often turn them off easily. Sort of like listening in to a talkative table next to yours in a restaurant. What strikes me is how many children suffer at the hands of a sadistic criminal parent. I can't imagine having that critical flaw in your childhood. Mine was teasing, bullying which pales considerably in comparison.
A mix of thoughts, experiences, flash fiction, poetry and humor of Ann Bennett.
Saturday, January 5, 2013
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