Are you good at brownnosing?

A question on facebook was posted. Should you go to a high school reunion if everyone hated you in school? The graduation date was 1970, which would make the person  around 63.

My thought is why not,

None of those 17-year-olds will be there. They lost their innocence in the world just like him. They learned the house they lived in or the car their parent's drove was not theirs. They had to go to work and budget to make a similar purchase. A huge hospital bill, a speeding ticket, partying hardy could stand between them and the purchase of either.

When the Columbine High School shootings occurred, my night school class came in talking about it. One told me the boys did it because they were picked on. I said what I thought, we all get picked on.
What surprised me were the class agreed with me. I thought some of them solemnly talking about being picked on were the sort to do the teasing. Moving up and down that social ladder affects all.
I would hazard a guess that most of our classmates felt picked on or left out.

Could you have been responsible for the hatred? Like, did you say bad stuff? Like, do you think anyone would remember? Like, do you think anyone would hold your youthful mouth against you? Especially if they had teenagers. Could your transgression of being independent that defied a teenagers need to conform to the peer group expectations be a source of pride now.

Exactly who do you remember from high school? When folks friend me from high school, I would look them up in the yearbook. I still am careful who I friend, but I keep everything private for my eyes only if I can. I'm glad people use the privacy setting for their kids pictures. I just wish they would be a little more discreet with politics I don't like. I feel flattered that people remember me.

I had a parent of a student who kept talking about being on the basketball team at Northside. At the time, I was about 46 and would think, now that was a few years ago. However, I realized she thought she knew me. My younger sister recognized the name. Anyway, that long ago prestige was still with her.

I am approaching 60. I got off the social ladder a long time ago. It just wasn't that fun and not worth the effort. Sort of like "brown nosing", I wasn't good at it. It doesn't take long to know you are the lucky one. I feel some pity for those who think the clothing on their back or car they drive defines them. To not know that these are only illusions.

Anyway, I would go to the reunion to meet new people.

What do you think? Am I being too optimistic? I have never been to a reunion. My class was pretty slack, and hey I am not interested in all that work either. So am I being a little too pollyanna?

I hope everyone finds something to take their minds off the horrors of the news. I have certainly said a prayer for those folks in South Carolina. What a horrible, senseless tragedy.

Anyway enjoy the following video.

When you're having a tough day but then your jam comes on...
Posted by Her.ie on Thursday, May 14, 2015

Chillin' on a summer's day

Cussing and Cursing.

I grew up with a mom that did not allow cussing. She also considered racial comments cussing. While she was at it, so was putdowns.

I was close to fifty when I learned the word cussing should be cursing. My mother had talked to one of the supervisors at Happy Hour Workshop for developmentally delayed adults. She noted he called cussing cursing. Bells and whistles went off and another a piece of my dialect disappeared. No worries, I say plenty more.

Drifting through the blogosphere, I came across one blog discussing how curse words should be handled with care.
     http://hannahheath-writer.blogspot.com/2015/06/keeping-it-classy-when-is-it-ok-to-use.html

My first reaction was "how sweet" which translate into let's get a little real here. Ironic in that I don't believe in cursing. However, I let words slip. As a teacher, I thought I never cursed. My developmentally delayed brother can be a kid at heart, perennial teenager or the 62-year-old man he is. Pretty much liked all of us.

Cutting to the chase, he laughs at curse words. Well, guess what, I curse a hell of a lot more than I thought. Yeah. I let a mild one rip, on purpose for comic effect. I can't hear you laughing. Of course, that would be pretty weird in that only me and the word processor know my words at this moment.

In retirement, I have to resist the urge to not curse. Crazy, I know. The other thing I wrestle with is that filter we all use with what comes out of our mouth. You know that handy thing we all acquire from having terribly angry folks in our face because of what we slipped up and said.

My worst one was telling a woman that her niece said her boyfriend acted interested in her. She had been talking about her niece's big ego. And that is when I let this jewel or more apropos stinkbomb explode in my face. Young and dumb is overrated.

Anyway, this is my comment on her blog. My question is where does the idea that poor people are more likely to curse. I do know being impulsive, telling people that their significant other has the hots for someone else can lead to a lower income. But crassness permeates all income levels. You can be low income because of life circumstances.

I stopped cursing as a teacher. I've never been big into cursing and the adage that cursing meant you had a lack of vocabulary became more apparent as I have aged. Frankly, cursing is used as a substitute for being able to verbalize your emotions. 

As a writer, you short shrift your characters when you give curse words versus what they are feeling or doing. I don't find comedians who curse a lot in their routine as funny as the laugh track that accompanies them. 

The last point about characters is that cursing crosses all social classes. Just because someone is poor or uneducated does not mean they curse. I feel the downtrodden get enough knocks without people educated in human nature enriching the stereotype. My mother punished us in the sixties for racial comments as cursing.

Birds of Summer

I don't want to hear that!

In the summer of 1994, my dad would answer the phone with if you are going to talk about OJ or the flood, I don't want to talk.

Do you ever get sick of topics? That is how I feel about Caitlyn Jenner and the Duggar molestation scandal. For a brief moment, I watched the two married sisters who are pregnant or recently gave birth trying to make everything better.

What caught me was one seemed to have that awareness that maybe the family was not perfect and there were other opinions in the world besides the one they thought was the only one. Maybe it was just me. But doubt and uncertainty was there.

It made me think of an 8-year-old. Developmentally, it is a magical year with what a child is able to comprehend. It is also a time, children start learning their place in the world. It truly is a bittersweet time.

I do wish the best for these newsmakers. One is making money off their newsworthiness and the other one will need to invest what they have wisely. The have lost their goose that laid a golden egg.

As a society, the United States is in places I never thought we would be. Gay marriage is a big one. It is on the verge of being legal everywhere. When I was a kid, gays stayed in the closet or moved to Atlanta. Transgender is not the big shocker the satirical novel featuring the topic by Gore Vidal called Myra Breckinridge in 1968 was.

The Duggars is another phenomenon. I grew up in a conservative Baptist church. The Duggars would have been considered fanatical and impractical. These exaggerated fundamental Christians did not exist except for perhaps the Amish or Mennonites. The fact that they entered popular culture is surprising.

TLC used to be the Learning Channel and had more educational programming. Currently, reality television has taken over its line-up. Some of it is quite good like the Little Couple. They allow people to learn about what they do to make ordinary living ordinary. However, other shows have verged on the normalization of the freak show.

Reality television I would like to see.

1. A posh Indian (Asian) wedding of Indian-Americans in full detail. Show families making plans and the wedding itself.

2. Life on an Indian Reservation. Show the good, bad and the ugly.

3. Bring back Queen for a Day program. However, shower all the contestants with gifts.

4. Have a group of families try to live a year at poverty level. Show them balancing the budget, lifestyle adaptations, etc. Word to lawmakers, moms everywhere know spaghetti is inexpensive and liked by most children. Why would you want to stop Food Stamps from purchasing spaghetti sauce?

What do you think would make a great reality show? But don't tell me Caitlyn Jenner or the Duggars.

Glamour Shots

Chewing the Fat

A to Z came to me at the right time. I was ready to take advantage of good blogrolls and activities along the way. There have been some great events that I did not participate in that I have this thing called a life I live.

But niggling me has been two books I have written in my head. All they need is to be put on a word document and saved with a date and name. All those no names, no dates are a pain in the rear. More so in that I always intend to get back with them soon. Then the electricity goes off or the computer insists on shutting down to install updates and the computer recovers all the files I had open as untitled.

My first big project is BuNoWriMo which is basically a nanowrimo with less rules but a 50,000 word goal in the month of June. That is 50,000 divided by 30 which is 1667 words a day. My goal is 2000 in that I wind up cutting half my words eventually.

If you would like to participate, here is the Facebook link.

https://www.facebook.com/groups/120068351365639/918758704829929/?notif_t=group_activity


There is a website with a word counter, but I have not been able to access it.

There are other things I learned cruising blogs. One is that you can use a free service to verify your twitter follower is real. The only problem is the follower has to watch a commercial. I know that is what I had to do before it would reveal the captcha device.

Since I don't actually use twitter, it was irritating in that I follow people in a show of support. But a good thing if a bot could use your tweet nefariously. With the state of social media, nothing surprises me.

I also came across a fun blog for newbie writers. It is funny. It is sincere. It is talking about stuff we are nowhere near worrying about - but hope to one day.

http://jetreidliterary.blogspot.com/

So see everyone on wordless Wednesday.