It's been an eventful week. My hard-drive took a dump on a laptop under warranty. I did not copy the screenplay I had been writing so - I will be taking that data off the hard drive and invalidating the warranty.
But all is not lost. I have purchased a new hard drive and I have always wanted to use the free shareware Linux based operating system Ubuntu. Such excitement I know.
We have had doctor's appointments galore and my mom is a little frightened being by herself. Ann B. Davis who played Alice on the Brady Bunch died of a subdural hematoma. My mom fell several months back and bled excessively from her head and had a huge hematoma on her knee. If I had not been there and the ambulance been there in about ten minutes it would have been tragic.
My sister had a mammogram. She has better days and worse days with her schizophrenia. On that day she was talkative. There were two volunteers in the hospital. One was concerned when I had to check on my mom in the car. The air conditioner was running, mom was reading the paper and Daisy was in her lap.
Since I did not go in the back with my sister I knew the mammogram operator would work fast. My sister is not dangerous but people are afraid of mental illness. My sister has been acquiring the "I don't give a damn." attitude you get as you grow older. I have been trying to keep my attitude in check.
One volunteer told me how her friend's mother lived to be 96. She told of her mother waiting in the car like my mother. I've heard many tales of mom's with daughters, spouses with spouses like this. What struck me was this woman's reaction to the other volunteer telling me how lucky I was to still have my mother. It was that recognition of knowing.
Individuals who have taken care of frail family members know the 24/7 nature of care giving. No breaks, no vacations, it lasts for years. Your break will be a time of deep regret and mourning. You learn to cherish that these are the good times.
Take care,
A mix of thoughts, experiences, flash fiction, poetry and humor of Ann Bennett.
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