Having retired from teaching, I am acquainted with the "bitch" term. I've come to terms with being called a bitch. It is always someone who has no respect for a teacher, their position and only want what they want. I knew one teacher who was proud to be called a bitch and she was. I wasn't.
Any way, what you came for - the quiz. What is my expertise? Well I am the white bitch, the fat bitch, the big tittied bitch. I have known the black bitch. She is a lovely, keenly perceptive person. Skinny bitch can be nice too; but, nyah, nyah ney, everybody likes her better and I am ENVIOUS. There is a special voice for that in addition to shouting it.
Question Uno: Are you male or female?
2. For those who answered male, are you straight or gay? Straight guys go to question 16. Gay guys go to question 42. Females, you are right on track. Have you ever noticed there is no such thing as you gorgeous bitch or you beautiful bitch? a. yes b. no
3. Have you ever been called a bitch? a yes b. no
4. Have you ever been made to feel like a bitch? a. yes b. no
5. Are you tall? a. yes b. no
6. Are you short? a. yes b. no
7. Are you a dog? a. yes b. no
8. Do you work? (Paid or Unpaid - housewife) a. yes b. no
Now add up all your yeses. Write it down somewhere so you wont forget.
Subtract your yeses from eight to get your nos.
Throw that number away. Because only a yes to number 7 counts. Not the "no count" that made you feel like one or called you one. Because standing up for yourself, doing your job does not make you a bitch.
A mix of thoughts, experiences, flash fiction, poetry and humor of Ann Bennett.
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