Tuesday, May 6, 2014

Motivation



Fiction response to two prompts: First line must be "Tell me if you're game and reference to photo.  .
Excavator





Tell me, if you're game? This fat chick who looks slightly disheveled with big blonde hair will say every time she walks by my boiled peanut booth.

The first time she did it. I started to answer, “Game for ...” No need to keep talking, she was walking into a crowd ahead.

Every Friday morning, she walked by with the question. Every Friday, it was loud enough for me to respond but she looked straight ahead. I began to think of retorts as I lit the burners and began to boil peanuts.

She was an irregular customer. She would always inquire about the different sizes and prices. Carefully counting her money, looking at the bags, and then choosing the small $2 bag each time.

It should have blended with all the mental flotsam that swirls through anyone's head at any given time. For example, there is a huge orange earth mover at the corner of the road I live on and the freeway it connects with. I never paid it any mind until it disappeared.

Yesterday, she walked by and did not ask the question. Simply quiet on the subject. She had the same clothes on but looked better. I watched as she moved within the crowd which was thinner than usual. I watched her start a slow run and disappear onto an unpaved path.

8 comments:

  1. I like the way you told this - leaving the reader with more questions than answers. Very nicely done.

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    Replies
    1. I was alluding to challenging herself with exercise. My mom thought she was feeding the animals on the unpaved path.

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  2. Thought-provoking...this is going to be swirling with my mental flotsam for a bit. :)

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  3. I got more mental flotsam than I need. Hence I write. Take care.

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  4. Nice take on the prompts. It leaves me wondering about the story of the 'game' woman- what's beyond the observations.

    It's true, we tend to not notice something until it's changed. (Whenever I notice a change, I obsess over when the change might've happened. Always feels better when I recognize it right off rather than weeks later :) )

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  5. She is challenging herself, speaking out loud. I changed her appearance to perhaps show an exercise regimen. It needs work but I was somewhat happy with the way it is. It is nebulous and open-ended which I don't like in other stories.

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  6. I just thought she was nuts! This was a fun read.

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  7. Love the mysteriousness of the woman – and the subtle changes at the end. I also really love the line about mental flotsam – what a perfect description! :)

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Your thoughts.