The earliest television show I remember watching on a regular basis was I Love Lucy. Ricky Ricardo would want Lucy to do some 'plaining after one of her madcap hi-jink.
Personally, I get a wee tired of the explaining. Today I went to request to pick up my mammogram to take to the doctor's office. I had been told that I could pick them up where the mammogram was done versus the hospital. Either location is a trip so I really did not care.
I make the request on Tuesday to pick them up Thursday morning. The young lady behind the counter tells me it takes 24 hours, I need to pick them up Thursday afternoon. I say, 24 hours, today is Tuesday. She continues to explain you need to come Thursday afternoon. I say, my appointment is Thursday afternoon. She says you need to come Thursday afternoon. I say, 24 hours? She says 24 hours and then we have to wait for the mail.
As she rattles off about I need to come Thursday afternoon, it occurs to me what she means. 24 hours for the mammogram films. Another 24 hours for delivery. She needed to say 48 hour turnaround. The hospital is maybe half a mile away. I tell her I can pick them up there.
When you are old, you need lots of explaining. Well old to the receptionist.
Now, I have been cleaning house, I need a coat of paint (make-up), I resist the urge to tempt fate and go home and make the request early Wednesday morning. Squaring my shoulders, I go straight to radiology and make my request. As I walk in, I think maybe I should have taken my purse with my ID.
The receptionist is so cute and young. "Do I have a picture ID?"
That caption above your head where you are thinking real loud goes off. "Hell no, what can I do with some old broad's mammogram? You're going to make me walk back to my car, looking like this. I know, I know, only the pink lady in front noticed how sloppy I was. All you kids think this is how folks like me always ...." She smiles at me and tells me to bring my picture ID to pick the films up Thursday morning. "look as good as I feel right now."
I make eye contact with the pink lady and wave as I leave.
Now this is not one incident there is lots of 'plaining going on.
One supermarket chain has a mystery coupon for a penny item on senior citizen Wednesday. My mom looks forward to this event. We are going to buy 2 for 1 grocery items whether we need it or not. Sometimes mom gets so worked up, we have to leave before the mail comes and I get my mystery coupon from the local paper. You know the motor chairs batteries get worn down my mother reminds me.
I've discussed this with the manager. He told me he can't justify getting more chairs for one day of high demand. He's rather good looking so the explaining is more pleasant.
I've timed my mother. It can take up to two hours studying the aisles of this magnificent store. I have to admit, the workers are very friendly. Could it be the $2000 the pharmacy gets from the insurance company for medicines my mom and brother take each month. All for getting 5 lbs of sugar for one cent. We don't use sugar. We're diabetics. But the Methodist food bank does.
Well the mystery item can be quite a mystery. You sort of have to look for it. Since I have a book to read at all times, I go to customer service and find out what the item is. The closer they are to my age, the more likely they make eye contact and say what the item is as they wait on the customer ahead of me.
About three weeks ago, it was a new girl. I say, What's the mystery coupon?
She tells me what the mystery coupon is. I say, no, the item. She then explains to me that I asked for what the mystery coupon was. Granted she was right. I say, what is the mystery coupon item? It's a good thing we played Simon Sez as a kid.
Like I say, we old broads need lots of explaining.
Now you're probably wondering what the picture has to do with this article.
Absolutely nothing. I jes felt like doing some 'plaining. Have a Great Day!
A mix of thoughts, experiences, flash fiction, poetry and humor of Ann Bennett.
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