Tuesday, April 7, 2020

Facebook or Frasier

I dally way too long on Facebook. Spending my precious free time on reading snippets of info and worse occasionally composing small speeches that I erase. There is that phrase about mad dogs and Englishmen by Noel Coward. For some reason I think of this when I write one of these. Don't worry, I seldom write them.

Facebook is your gramma's social network. We are all staying home, telling each other to stay home, and sending up prayers against this pestilence. So you guessed it, I use a timer when dallying on the net. By the way, friend me if you do Facebook. mememe

I like to surf the net as I watch television. I stopped turning on the TV in the morning. I haven't missed the morning news. I like to drink a cup of coffee by myself in the morning. So during the day, unwatched soap operas no longer fill the silence.

JoJoBear scratching her back on the driveway.
My mom is usually watching movies from her heyday or Perry Mason. She likes Perry Mason a lot. I watch exactly two shows and soon to be three next Sunday each week. I like Dr. Phil. But I don't watch him but about four or five times a month. PBS has some really good shows. I'm watching the science of food as I type this.

But instead of whiling away my time on Facebook, I read. I have been reading Jemi Frasier's book called "Dancing with Dementia" and Ha Lin's novel "Waiting".

One reason I retired early and find myself housebound is taking care of people I love who need a home, meals and comfort. I get a lot of undue praise in that I benefit from this deal too. I've yet to know anyone who has lived a better life by running away from their responsibilities. But dementia and it's cousins are something I live with. I had thought of writing about my experiences too.

It takes a lot of love and patience. My nature is to be headstrong, ignore what I can and force things. What I learn from all of it is that not all needs to be controlled. I'm terrible to put things together without fully reading the instructions. One thing I know, if you force something, it will break and will not go together. Stop and look at the instructions.

I wanted to have finished reading the book before this post. I purchased the Kindle copy. It is currently 99 cents which is a good deal. I've read about 20 percent. I like how Jemi Frasier gives a story to episodes. It is not a fact, fact, bang sort of book. The storytelling lets the reader come to a conclusion which I think is brilliant. When your loved one becomes mentally incapacitated, it is a gradual process that you don't always notice until it is all you can see in shock.

For the record, I get no benefit from posting this book. One thing I have enjoyed about A to Z are the blogging friends I have made.

Dancing With Dementia: Recognizing and Coping with the Early Stages of Dementia by [Jemi Fraser]

Amazon Link


  1. I set you a friend request on Facebook. I don't spend a lot of time posting on it but will when I have time set up a facebook page for our new pup. I do go through my Facebook scroll probably more than I should but do try to limit time there. Fascinating book; I'll have to check it out. I often wonder how someone can tell if they are getting dementia or someone around them is getting it. This might be a good read for that. I get a lot of my books to read through our county's e-public library. Sometimes you have to wait for a book, sometimes 6 months for popular ones, but there are lots available to read. You can check out 10 at a time for 2 weeks. I usually get 2 at a time and read one book a week while exercising on the treadmill. I haven't watched much news lately; I think its better that way these days.


    1. My big weakness with the news is that I am a numbers junkie. I keep looking at the Covid numbers which is a bit chilling. I had a friend who never watched the news. I don't know that I could go that far but I don't think it is a bad idea. I encourage my mom to not watch the news.
      I can't wait till your pup gets a page. That will be fun.
      Dementia is a worrisome thing. But as my dad said, If you do get dementia, it won't be your problem. A dark joke but very true.
      Thanks for friending me.

  2. I don't play FB, and watch as little television as possible.
    Reading provides me with education, with comfort - and escape.
    I featured Jemi's book on my blog last week. I really appreciated her focus on not only her mother's safety but her happiness.

    1. I'm ambivalent about Facebook. But I do enjoy some of the memes. I have gotten more from blogs. I haven't finished Jemi's book. So far, it is very interesting.

  3. Sounds like a good book- both of my parents suffered dementia

    1. I'm sorry that both of your parents had dementia. It's a bitter pill to accept and a bitter burden. Thanks for stopping by. Ann

  4. I sent you a friend request from Dee Kay. That's who I'm known as on Facebook, though most people know it was a feeble attempt years ago to spy on my daughter when she first signed into FB ;-) Besides, I often use Dee Kay as a pen name. I tend to scroll FB toward day's end when I feel like I've met enough goals to engage in guilt-free browsing.

    It isn't easy caring for others. We've walked four beloved family members down that rutted sunset road to everlasting peace. Three had dementia/Alzheimer's, and one had severe respiratory issues. Now that we're gaining on those "golden" years, caring for each other is about all we can manage. But we don't regret for a minute the years we spent caring for those who needed us. I plan to read Jemi's book.
    I watch/listen to History and Science channels, Nat Geo or Smithsonian while I'm working.

    1. It's a privilege and a burden caring for someone at the end of life. I feel some concern for myself but I will let the future take care of itself. My big change is not putting so much pressure on myself Do what I can. I friended you back on Facebook. I'm bad about doing Facebook when I am waiting for something to cook. So I am on and off quickly. But I do enjoy scrolling.


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