Wednesday, April 22, 2020

Raison d'etre

I like French phrases that have crept into the English language in that they say so much. My problem with them is that I can't spell them right.

Raison d'etre means a lot to me in that if we don't have that internal motivator; life is not meaningful. I have an 89 year old mother and yes she has slipped some. But she is amazingly perceptive in many ways. I have two handicapped siblings and she still is a mother to them.

Living with my mother, I think of that book "My Mother, Myself" printed in 1977 when I was 21. At the time I thought I was so different from her. Living with my mother these past 17 years, I understand her better and know that the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

Things I learned at my mother's knee.

1. Avoid an argument anytime. Climb a tree if possible.

2. We love children. I worked a summer science camp. Since I was in charge, I let the pre-teens be as loud as they normally could be when they came in from playing outside. It did not bother me. My mother was with me that day. My first thought, was I'm sorry about all that racket. My mother turned around smiling. It sounded good to her too.

3. I save things long beyond their use. I hold onto things because they look like they could be useful.

4. We love animals and nature.
I have a cat and her four babies. We have a guest cat that I have been feeding. I know that cat had babies about two weeks ago. Where they are. I don't know. I heard the coyote last night. But I try to go outside without dogs everyday for her to visit with me. My mother tells me sternly that we will need to give these babies away.
Long story short, mom asks about those babies every night. If they make it and come out of the woods with mom, they will get a name, a trip to the vet for rabies vaccination and neuter/spay. Of course they will call this house home.

One thing I learned about my mother.

My mother always wanted you to eat. She will nag you about eating. Even now, I prepare the food. She is concerned we all eat well. I hate it.

She tells me how she took care of her younger sister when her mother was in the field working. My mother would take the hungry baby out to my grandmother so it could be fed. My grandmother would make her take the baby back in. She was too hot to make milk. They had what is called food insecurity today. Add to that, my grandmother was a sparse eater. I had two brothers, a cousin and my grandmother's sister who was like that. They were reed thin and just did not want to eat much.

This story explains my mother's obsession with having everyone eat. I bring her chihuahuas a small plate of food when I bring mom her meal. This doesn't stop one of them thinking they should have some of my mother's food too. My mom will ask why I brought her so much meat.

Buzzards on a Cell Phone Tower. They cover the garbage way station across the road after the workers go home. There is plenty of road kill on the rural highways.


  1. Wow the pictures of the buzzards! It is interesting how alike we are to our moms even when we don't think we ever will be or want to be. Every time I cook for company coming over I always cook way more than we need because that's how my mom was. She was afraid there wouldn't be enough food for everyone to eat (everyone always had plenty at her place). So neat too that you still have your mom with you!


  2. I am guilty of using food as an expression of love. I do love to feed people, and hate it if they don't eat. And yes, I got that from my mother.

  3. I admire the bond you share with your mom. Oh how I miss having cats. I live vicariously through your cat tales ;-)

  4. You are lucky to have her nearby for these moments. I consider myself lucky to have a good relationship with my parents. Not everyone has that.


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