Saturday, April 18, 2020

Oh, Organizing, Oy Vey

Today is the day I have realized that I will never get it all done.

Oh.

The reason I did A to Z was to get my mind back to writing. You do have to make some things important. I fell behind this week doing taxes and paying bills. I normally do fill a form with the IRS because it is free. I did not get my refund from GA last year. I have to resubmit an amended tax form for 2018. They say I was disallowed my senior deduction because I did not include Schedule 1.

So I decided to get with the program and file electronically. For my mother and I, that is $100. When I finish with my sister, that will be another $20. Not a King's ransom, but that is why I have what I have which is I cut expenses when I can. I will say, it saved me some time.

This weekend is going to be full of paperwork and organizing. Walking in the house from walking the dogs this morning, the grass needs to be mowed again. I mowed four days ago. This does not include where I try to branch out and mow a bit more.

Oh my.

Forget mowing until Monday. My mother is desperate to go grocery shopping. So Monday at 7 am, we are going. My gut says tell her absolutely no. My heart says let her have a bit of fun. I hate being a grown up at times.

But this weekend, I will stay in the house and straighten as much as possible.

Next Tuesday, I hope to go to my brother's house. My eldest brother died March 2nd of this year. We need to do probate but everything is closed. I got his death certificates in the mail and sprayed them with a disinfectant. To say I have felt miserable about this is an understatement. My brother was my best friend.

My brother has a nice neighbor who is being a pain in the arse. He is so concerned with my brother's yard. My brother lived in the country. The neighbor cannot understand that I have living breathing people who come first. The other thing I hate is he is in my brother's house rifling through things. He is not stealing. Just being nosy.

He is from California and affluent at one time. I couldn't have a better person looking out for my brother's house. I am not going to look a gift horse in the mouth. But he gets on my nerves. Some of it is cultural. We live in a jungle at time and having plants a little unwieldy is more normal. Those from colder and/or drier climates battle them. Most people from California want to cut down trees. One acquaintance from California said the towering Pines was creepy. Towering pines are money in my mind. They do cause a problem in April when we have bad storms. But the smell when one is downed by a thunderstorm is heavenly.

There is a part of me that does not care whether I get anything from my brother's estate. And actually, I do not. My brother died without a will and according to the law in GA, my mother inherits all. My brother was divorced and had no children. This is great. I have three handicapped siblings of which two I have guardianship. Being a conservator of money is an enormous hassle. This is why I am hoping my sister who had a stroke gets a grip. I really don't want to manage her affairs.

My mother is so paranoid I am spending money on my sister who had a stroke which I do and have. My sister is not going hungry or not having her lights on in her home as long as I can afford it. I know she blows her money as soon as she gets it. She lives in her own house due to parasites wanting her there so they can exploit her better.

Add to that, friends and acquaintances urge her to live independently without knowing how handicapped she is. I have resented Facebook in that my sister has chatted freely with people who are overly generous with advice. It is a shame that don't understand their advice is worthless. They need to come over to her house and clean up after her. They need to visit with her. They need to bring her food.

One of her friends said my sister's house was in good shape around Christmas. I told her the truth. Yes I had caught up with a great deal of her house cleaning at that time. But my sister does not allow me in her house until it reaches a critical mass. This makes it impossible to catch up with the mess. This same friend now wants to know why I don't have my sister in a personal care home.

Because of busy bodies like you. My sister has lost a lot of abilities living in her house. I constantly worked with her to keep her abilities where they needed to be. Now she has gotten so difficult, I don't think I can bear to have her back in my home. But I don't say anything. This is a real friend and has helped my sister.

With Covid, I'm glad she is not in a personal care home. I am not happy with her situation. I have been trying to work with her. My dentist tells me my gums are in better shape. Do I tell him I actually have time to shower, groom and brush my teeth in a leisurely manner now.

Which brings me back to taxes. I'm glad there is an extension. I've got to do my sister's taxes.

And then I watch the news. People are having a hard time managing with unemployment, no money, children who need to be fed. My problems are nothing compared to them. I think of the woman complaining about her hair roots needed a touch up and the "stay at home" orders were a big problem for her. Maybe my problems are a hair root problem in comparison.

I'm grateful for these problems. I could be the teary eyed woman on television being interviewed as she accepts a food handout.

I need to think about how I can help someone else.

Take care my friends. It's a busy day and I have a lot to be grateful for. I'm off to cook dinner. We all need to eat an antacid. My sister in law posted a taco casserole I'm making. The house is a mess. It's all good.


Flint river flooded out of it's banks up the boat ramp into the parking lot on HWY 96 about two weeks ago.



5 comments:

  1. Caring is a very difficult role. A role which is sometimes made even more difficult by the independence we encourage and nurture (oh the irony).
    I hope you can find/steal some time to yourself - time to just be.
    And good luck with the multiple weights/responsibilies you carry.

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    Replies
    1. I've spent my life managing personalities. It was difficult at times with some children when I taught school. I'm a spiritual person in that I think maybe that is the purpose of my life. My parents took care of many through the years. But I will say, anyone should be very careful about moving anyone in their home. There is no respite. If people don't live with you, you can leave when they get difficult.

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  2. I think with the right precautions a shopping trip would be great for your mom. I'm sorry to hear about your brother's passing and the paperwork involved with getting things settled. A good reminder to make sure things are in place for us when the time comes (which they are in place I just need to finish the rest of the paperwork for it). So true about those Californians wanting to kill trees; I'm from California and I was one to want to remove any green living thing if at all possible (and go figure now I live in a desert). I'm personally staying off of the news. I'm not sure what to believe any more from pretty much anyone and anything.

    Stay safe and sane.

    betty

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  3. How is he getting in your brother's house? Does he have a key? I'd change the locks.

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  4. Ann, you're an angel. I do hope you've claimed each and every person you care for as a dependent on your taxes. I agree, your mom does need a day out. Even if it's just a drive around town. You could probably use a little escape yourself. Well, now I've talked myself into getting out of the house today!

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